Be Kind

Brand new 2012

2012-01-03T12:10:00.003+08:00

Fine, 2012 came without much fanfare, at least for my family. We were asleep by 9pm on new year eve and we missed out the countdown and the firework. Nevertheless, I am grateful for 2011 and hopeful for 2012.

We are forever grateful for the twins and all I want and wish for the babies is for them to be healthy and happy always. A mother wish is always simple, we just complicate matter alittle cos we get greedy, which I hope I will not be.

2011 marks a few changes for my life. I have promoted to a mother of a pair of lovely twins, was promoted at work and I lost my beloved grandmother. There are lots of joy and grieving time. Instead of setting new year resolution, I am focusing on living my life to the fullest and hoping to reduce the possibility of regret.

In 2012, more milestone to cross and more goodness to look forward to. I believed God is overlooking and protecting us. Thank you Lord for your unconditional love.

Stay home mother

2011-12-28T20:54:00.001+08:00

My nanny went oversea for a week and that gave me the opportunity to stay home with the twins. In fact, it will be the longest time that we stick to each other after my maternity leave.

Time is passing pretty fast, it is already Wednesday and we still have a few plans that are not carried out yet. We had brought the twins to Orchard. Had breakfast at Starbucks and attended two house parties. We hope to go to East coast park tomorrow morning and maybe to Suntec on Friday.

Terrible cough

2011-12-19T04:14:00.001+08:00

My sore throat developed into a very bad cough then now a terrible cough situation. The cough is so bad that it kept me awake and feeling terrible. The throat is still irritated and don't know for whatever reason, my both eyes are red and I hope it not a sore eyes situation.

I am feeling tired but the cough is killing me and Sincere is sleeping with us thus I excuse myself and now writing this in the living room. Probably I will spend the rest of the night on the sofa since the babies just had their milk and do not need me to be near them still morning.

Dear lord, please grant me speedy recovery and please protect my family, especially the twins from this cough and may them be healthy and happy. Amen.

Missing grandma

2011-12-09T22:12:00.001+08:00

It has been two weeks since grandma passed away. I missed my grandma and looking back I have my regret. I didn't spend as much time I wish I could with grandma ever since the twins arrived. Even if I was with her, it wasn't really quality time spent cause I am always busy taking care of the babies.

I missed those days when I was alone where I can spend as much time as I could with grandma. Even at her wake, I didn't even have time to grieve cos I was too busy.

Grandma, I miss you!!

Goodbye, ah ma!!

2011-11-24T16:47:00.001+08:00

Grandma left us on 24 november at 7.50am. I didn't manage to reach her bed side in time to send her off. When I see her, she looks like she left peacefully.

Very sad, I love my grandma and although I know this day will come but still very painful to bid goodbye.

Grandma discharging

2011-11-15T18:02:00.002+08:00

This could be one of Grandma longest stay in Hospital, she was admitted on 2nd October 2011 and since then her condition fluctuate like the unstable stock market. It went high but mostly down. We thought we almost going to lost her the frist few days, it was an very emotional period then she suddenly seem to get better and get out of the Intensive care unit. I felt relieved only to learnt that they moved her out not because she she getting better but because the doctors felt that there was no more hope and nothing else can be done. These were the exact words of what the Doctor told me on a Friday afternoon. My tears rolled but Grandma proved the Doctor wrong and she hang on for another 3-4 weeks that followed.

Now, the doctor again said they have tried their best and exhausted all the anti-biotic that can possibily used and she is not responding to the medication. Her fever is persistent and seriously nothing more can be done.

They have taken off all anti-biotic on her and she is left to fence for herself now. Her condition did deteriorate fast and she looks bad from day to day. Weirdly instead of rushing to Hospital to see her, I am running away. I am having the fear of seeing her in this condition. I am scared and I am in denial. The next few days will be unpredictable for everyone. I am not hopeful that Grandma will recover, I only wish that she will give me a chance to say Goodbye and be with her at the FINAL HOUR.

Starbucks at Rochester drive

2011-11-03T08:57:00.001+08:00

Starbucks has the newest, probably also the biggest outlet at Rochester Dr. Saw the update from the Facebook and decided to visit the new outlet. The music, setting and ambience of the new outlet is simply lovely. I feel like Christmas is just next week. If only this place will remain quiet and free from students studying and occupying all the tables space, then this outlet will be perfect.

Never ever prepare for THE day!!

2011-10-08T00:18:00.001+08:00

Grandma health has been deteriorating over the years, but always remain cheerful until recent months. Just last Sunday, she was hospitalised because of her bloated and discomfort tummy. Her condition went down fast and she was transfer to ICU the same day. Initiately, doctor suspect some intestine blockage and suggested surgery. But she is already so frail and old that it is too dangerous option. While the family were discussion the option, her blood pressure drop to a dangerous level and the family gather immediately at the hospital. The doctor explained her condition and my tear flow when I look at her. Doctor said might lose her anytime, be prepared!! It was very hard but grandma condition improved afted 2 days n she got transfer out of ICU. I rejoin n relaxed. I went to visit her daily before work and on Thursday morning, she looks great, we chat for a while and I left for work. Seriously think that she got better, i decided to join my friends for dinner. I went again to hospital on Friday, happily at first until the doctor talked to me. She said, her condition is bad and they have tried everything and it is not working out, she was transfer out from ICU because there is nothing more that they can do not because there is hope. She is not going to leave the hospital alive. At that moment, my heart sank to the deep bottom. I thought all is going well, what happened and why I was not told earlier??

I know she will leave us one day....but i am not ready yet...never will I. My only wish is she will not suffer further and I can be there during the final moment. I am so scare that grandma leave without saying goodbye. I want to be there.

Sincere and Righteous when they were 3.5 months old

2011-09-29T23:57:00.001+08:00

7 days a week

2011-09-29T23:54:00.001+08:00

My weekly time have very much delicate in 3 groups. Fri nite to Monday morning, my full attention and focus are on the twins, all my time are spent taking care and bonding with them, and I seriously mean ALL. There are really no time for anyone else or activities.

During the weekdays when the twins stays over at the nanny's place, I will have two weekday nights to spend time with Louis on his off and morning duty day. Days When he is on afternoon duty is when I have my personal space and time.

I like this arrangement cause I can focus on my twins, my relationship with Louis and yet have time for myself which I think is important to stay sane. Not everyone agreed with the way I managed my time but who are they to comment or judge, I do not need their approval.

Visitation to A&E the third time

2011-09-17T09:04:00.001+08:00

September is a challenging month for the twins. Only good news is they are turning the milestone of 6 months, other that is outing to the A&E one after another.

It started with Sincere fever, we went to KKH just to be sure as he fever is persistent. He recovered a day after, relieved for me. But immediately Righteous went down with fever and vomiting. She was hospitalized for 2 days, discharge and had since recovered.

Just when I thought all the storm was over, Sincere started vomiting and had slight fever on Friday night. The routine repeated, we send him to A&E, good thing is he is active and that's less worrying. So he was sent home and we have to monitor his progress. We sent Righteous to my nanny place in the middle of the night. Will go and fetch her on Sunday. I missed having them together and missed their wide smile. Pray that they will build up he immunity and be healthy again. Love you babies!!

Righteous hospitalization

2011-09-13T02:01:00.001+08:00

Parenthoods indeed brought me new experience and when comes to my own babies, anything that might cause them harm hurts my heart.

Righteous who has been a healthy baby was seem to be down with stomach flu like condition. She has persistence fever and vomited too many times for us to ignore her condition. We sent her to KKH A&E and doctor think that she needs to be admitted for further observations. At the point when doctor mentioned admission, my tears flow from my eyes and heart felt painful. My poor little girl needs to go thru different tests to determined the cause of her fever and vomiting. She generally behave pretty well, however, she definitely appear to be restless and tired. During the first few hours, Her fever starts to come down and she drank her milk. I thought she is ready to discharge anytime but at round 1.30am feed, she vomited again. Poor thing and here I am sitting next to her while she sleep at her ward, is pretty helpless as to what I can do now. Mummy just pray that lil Righteous will get well soon and we can all go home and take a good rest. Mummy loves you!!

My mummy boy

2011-09-10T13:50:00.001+08:00

Sincere fever didn't subside and came back after the medication wore off. We decided to bring him to A&E since it has been 3 days that this fever refuse to go.

There was no Q at the hospital, doctor checked on him and concluded that it should be just normal viral infection. However, his blocked noses was really quite bad so he had to go for cleansing and suction. He had the same procedure when he was 5 weeks old and then nurses recommended that i stayed away. Today, the nurses gave me the same advice and i handed Sincere over. However, Sincere is already 5 months old and he was so upset that he cried so badly when the nurse hand him back to me. And he had been feeling needy since we came back from the hospital. Guess my little boy had growth up already!!

Fever and blocked nose

2011-09-10T02:38:00.001+08:00

This is the 3rd time that Sincere is not well within the short frame of 5 months. Nothing serious, he had fever n pretty blocked nose.

Despite been unwell, he is still cheerful and well behaved. Just upset to see this little boy suffer a little when come to feeding n sleeping time. He is now sleeping next to me after struggling to find the rite sleeping position that he can rest n breath at the same time at 2.30am.

Somehow I have difficulty sleeping after. 2.30am these few days and now I can monitor my boy condition since I can't sleep anyway. But being awakw makes me hungry....argh!!

Testing out the new blogger app!!

2011-09-09T22:06:00.001+08:00

Finally Blogger has it iphone application that allows me to blog n upload picture straight from my iphone. This is so cool and best of all, this is a free app.

Anyway, didn't really have too much to update, my life now does revolving alot around the twins althought I do try to lead a balanced lifestyle as much as possible.

I started my jogging routine and are available to meet up with friends during the weekdays. I guess i am not doing a bad job. Just that some overdue dinner date with some friends just did not happened and i am not the busy one.

And yes, i still managed to have my nails manicured!!

5 months of parenthood so far

2011-08-28T21:38:00.005+08:00

The twins was 5 months old last Sunday, looking back at the 5 months, time really passes faster compare to the time when I was pregnant.
Probably becos my weekend are all burnt taking care of them. I have also learnt to adjust my weekend to enjoy their company, I used to wanting to go out every weekend from now enjoying staying home with them.

During the initiate weeks, I desperately wanting to sleep trained them to sleep thru the night but it did not turn out the way that I wanted. They still wake up once during the night for their milk, so I might have to wait a little longer before they are able to sleep thru. We have also made the decision to let the twins stay at my nanny place on weekdays and bring them back only on Friday night. We were worried about not spending enough time with them and them not recognizing us, however, we tried for a month and the arrangement worked out fine. We can rest better and we treasure the time with the twins better. And most important of all, they recognized us and want us as much as before. Of cos the are still cons, but we just have to focus on the pros for now.

Now, the twins are sleeping while I enjoy my moment of peace, tomorrow is another brand new week. Like what every parents told me, weekend is no longer a resting period, weekend is busier and tiring compared to weekdays....this is exactly true!!! Still, I love my babies.

Baby refuse to sleep

2011-08-15T23:27:00.002+08:00

I was angry with my baby girl when she woke up at 1am wide awake and refused to sleep. She wasn't kicking up a big fuss' rather she was having super happy mood. She wants to play with us but just not the right time and I am already freaking tired and desperately wanted to sleep. I think I really quite lost it and beat her little thighs and hands couple of times. But she give me her wide smile and that kind of made me guilty for my action. She continue to stay awake all the way to 4am while I continue to pull my hair.

Thinking back, I agreed with Louis that it wasn't her fault that she is not sleeping and I Should have more patience with her. Baby, mummy love u!!

2011-08-07T13:16:00.001+08:00

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Reduze!!

2011-07-19T18:48:00.002+08:00

It has been 4 months after I delivered the twins and I still have 6-7kg to drop. The weight seem to be stucking on me and refuse to shake off my fat body. Ok, I have not been really exercisig too. So, I have started myself on the dieting pills - Reduze.

I have tried the 2nd boxes and yet to see result, I am getting worried. Am i beyond help? Are the fat too fixed to my body and they are not going anywhere? I don't want to be the fat aunty and hate to still look pregnant after 4 months. I need to get rid of the fat and get into shape.

Sounds like heap of execuses, I am really very sleep deprived and the thought of waking up earlier on my free morning to exercise sounds worst than a nightmare to me. I am not advice to jog, so I wanted to do brisk walking and I have not moved my ass to start walking. The least that I did was to do hola exercise at home. I am so screwed....I know!! I will stop procastinating and start moving!! Pray for me...Please!!!

Farewell to my table

2011-07-19T18:46:00.002+08:00

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so loving

2011-07-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

Nice photoshake application from AppStore!!

Created with PhotoShake

A realisation

2011-07-14T23:09:00.002+08:00

I have a sudden realisation that there are certain people that just do not deserved any of my attention. Make use of them when needed, of cause not causing harm if possible but if harm is inevitable, then just too bad. Sounds horrible? This is what happened everyday around us.

With this, I have learnt to support and love my loved one, hopefully unconditionally. I am glad that I have such true and pure love around me that I feel blessed whenever I need the assurance.

Photo wall

2011-07-14T23:00:00.004+08:00

Due to limited space in our place and the only place to put up our photo is on the wall. We started with our picture (me and louis) and with the twins arrival, we have started a new segment just for them.

I think at the rate that I am taking and printing their pictures, we need more wall space for their pictures man!!

Holiday starts now..

2011-07-04T13:00:00.002+08:00

I took 2 weeks leave from work, partly because of the coming trip to Guang Zhou and I thought might as well take a few more days. I am now having coffee at Starbucks Orcard in the middle of the day while waiting for Louis, he is having his hair cut. This feel pretty good, I sent the twins over to my nanny this morning and will be picking them up in the evening, I still have half a day to myself.

Going for lunch soon....seeya!!!!

Space redesign

2011-07-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

For those who have visited my place would know how small my apartment is and it is even smaller now that we have the twins. So, we have to redesign, rearrange, rethink how to maximize the small space that we have to accommodate our changing needs. The first to go is our super huge dinning table which I love so much. I am a person that believed in big dinning table that we can have get together dinner and everyone seated on the same table when I do host dinner. But now, I will have to make do with a smaller one and no gathering at my place for the next few years. We need the dinning area for the twins play pen.

The twins had also took up two of the bed rooms, their stuffs are everywhere and we hardly space for any other things. Not to mentioned our store room, it is filled with milk powder, diapers, wet wipes, hand me down clothes and toys. We need to buy containers to keep their littles toys and I can foresee that their items will just keep increasing and we have to keep giving up our space for them unless we manage to move to a bigger place.....hmmm when and where will that be???

First oversea trip in 2011

2011-07-02T17:27:00.002+08:00

We booked our Guangzhou holiday in Jan 2011 and time flies, we will be departing for the trip on the coming Wednesday. I am excited for the trip, I am looking forwards to the shopping and eating and massage. Although I know this is a long waited holiday, I will still probably missed the twins quite a bit but I will survived.

Will see how we fair after this holiday and if we are doing good ( the twins, nanny and us), we should be able to plan for short trip. We want to try bringing them to Perth, that will be our target for next year!! Uncle Christian and Uncle MC, be ready for our visit, ok!!

Babies jab

2011-06-30T16:19:00.003+08:00

The twins had their first 5-in-1 jab today. As expected they had a good cried but didn't last too long, they behaved pretty well. Based on Sincere weight and height, his size is above average and he will be a tall boy when he grows up. Righteous is average little girl, she will not be very tall but just nice.

Doctor did an assessment on their growth progress too. Ah girl is went ahead of ah boy, doctor gave her an excellent status while ah boy need a second assessment in 1 month time. Nothing to be alert or concern, boy do developed slower than girl. However, doctor did said ah girl development is pretty advancement for her age...:)

Now that they are bigger, I do missed them when I don't get to see them daily. They are my little darling that melt my heart when they smile at me happily. We are going to GuangZhou for holiday in a few more days, am sure I will miss them but will learn to let go so that I can plan more holiday. Am grateful once again that I have a trusted nanny that I can leave them to when I need to getaway.

I survived my 1st month

2011-06-24T11:26:00.003+08:00

it has been 1 month or rather 5 weeks back at work and we have kick start the arrangement of bringing the twins back daily except for the 2 days that Louis works late. Frankly, my mental engine took a while to operate at a optimum capacity. During the initiate weeks, I do have problem catching up on emails and the working pace. Probably due to lack of sleep, it seem to be tough to have a full concentration. Fortunately, it does gets better as the days progress.

The twins just crossed 3 months old. They are getting more active and fun to be with. Bringing them home daily does help to bond the relationship but they are also demanding little creatures. Feeding time has been most challenging with their changing mood. Sometime, they refuse to finish their milk and when I tried feeding them again, they will vomit out. It happened for both the boy and girl.

The girl is a late owl, she slept late, sometime 1am, sometime 2am...she does drive me nut but she compensate this with her cute smile, what can I say? I gave up. I a truly grateful for the two night of good rest and freedom weekly. Sometime I would complaint and feel the pinch for the cost but at the end of the day, I know good rest is what money can't buy and I am very blessed to have the option of having my babies stay over at my aunt's place that allows me to meet up with friends and do my stuffs.

The joy of parenthood continues and I look forward to their next progress. Sincere and Righteous, mummy loves you dearly.....muckZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

IPad 2

2011-06-11T10:12:00.003+08:00

IPad 2 is totally cool and what more than cool is we got it as our award for our long service...which mean it is almost free!!! Have been busy setting up the iPad and downloading kid application. With iPad, the screen for iPhone just look so tiny.

Back at work

2011-05-27T17:24:00.002+08:00

I survived the first week back at work. It wasn't too tough since I left the twins at my babysitter home for the entired week and only bringing them home on Friday evening.

Was pretty busy at work and quite a fair bits of catching up to do even though I am only away for 2 months. There are too many meetings for the first week and I barely have time to go thru all the emails and it is already Friday.

Weekend will be a challenging time for me, I will be home alone with the Twins on Saturday. We will be fine...I know!!

End of Maternity leave

2011-05-19T19:12:00.002+08:00

2 months passes quick and I am at the end of my 2 months maternity leave, will be starting work next Monday. Rightly speaking, what passes fast are the weeks after confinement and when the babies are staying with my aunty (the babysitter). Last weekend was the first weekend that I have to bring them back, had great deal of anxiety and mixed feeling and it was an extremely busy weekend too. We attended two wedding dinners and it was an experienced.

My holiday is over and I have to face motherhood in its full prospective. We have made the decision to bring the twins back daily except for days when Louis is on afternoon or night shift which is 2 days per weeks. I am grateful for this arrangement, it means I would have 2 night of good rest per week.

I had a celebration dinner with Louis at Mortons to celebrate the birth of the twins and parenthoods. I shared with him my worries and my constant desired to cry whenever I think of the stress of taking care of the babies. Am glad that Louis is encourarging and giving me assurance that we will be fine. The dinner at Mortons was the most expensive dinner I had so far, service was superb, Onion bread taste wonderful and the steaks was great. Too bad, we were too full to have desert or rather we didn't want to spend that kind of money. So, we went to MacDonald and ordered the Ice-cream as our desert of the night.

Anyway, I will count my blessing and be grateful for the healthy and wonderful babies that I have and learn to embrace each other company. Me and Louis have also agreed to have our monhtly date to have nice and quiet dinner together but definitley not Mortons, too expensive.

Anxiety attack

2011-05-11T05:37:00.001+08:00

I suspect that I am having some forn of anxiety attack when I can't sleep in straight two days. Freaking tired but just can't get to sleep. On day 1, I thought it could be the iced coffee I had earlier in the day but on day 2, I suspect it is anxiety because we brought baby boy back from my babusitter place. I think I am losing sleep because babies are coming back. The ironic thing is, I am worried that I won't have enough sleep when they are around, ended up my own stress causes me to lose my sleep even when they are not around, well done, isn't it??The hot weather is not helping too and we preferred not to on the aircon when they are back caused we can't see them when the door is closed. But as I am writing this, I have closed the door, on the aircon and my boy is sleeping alone in his room. I desperately need some rest!!

General Election 2011

2011-05-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

Like what our Prime Minster said, this election determined the next generation of Minsters and future of Singapore and we are all waiting eagerly for the result. This is the first time that we saw and heard many discussion and attention about the election from all generation, especially the post 70s. This is a good sign, at least it showed that, we do care and we are concerned about our Country. It will be sad and scary if the election means nothing to us.

I have not attended a Rally and this election came at a time when I just have two new born, might try attending one 5 years later to feel the heat and passion generated. Louis attended the rallies and he brought these back for me.....

1st Mother's Day

2011-05-01T13:24:00.002+08:00

Our family had advance Mother's Day celebration and it also mark the first Mother's Day for me. Didn't have the drama touching emotion, rather, it was a usual family get-together. The role of a mother is new to me, I don't seem to fully understand what it meant to me at this point but I am sure it will get clearer and clearer. What I know is, mother wish is simply, we just want the babies to grow up healthy and happy.

Begining of night feed

2011-04-20T02:01:00.001+08:00

Confinement aunty left and I have to handle all feeding now and the feeding cycle repeated at a rapid speed.Had my first taste of night feeding and it is really not fun managing the meal time if two babies. I have to make sure that their feeding do not clash and I must have sufficient time to make milk, feed, blup and put baby to sleep before the other wakes up. Oh, not forgetting changing their diaper if they poop. Really busy and after the settling the babies, it is time to express the breast milk. I basically have very little time to sleep n rest,Louis is avoiding feeding them, he is not confidence in handling them but don't think he can run away for too long cos I will be going crazy soon if I have to do this even after i started work.

Babies first month celebration

2011-04-18T04:38:00.001+08:00

Yoohooo!! Sincere and Righteous celebrated their first month on 17 april, it marks the end of confinement for me and marks the beginning of new challenge for the 4 of us...me, louis and the two babies.We held the celebration at the function room of my aunty's condo, a cheap and good option, the rental of the room is only $20 for 6 hours. We invited closed friends, colleagues and closed relatives, the crowd were just nice and manageable.The twins were rather well behave, they slept thru the majority part of the celebration under the nosy environment. They should have super nice sleep after the celebration.We received lots of lovely gifts and red packets from everyone. Louis said we should keep all the money for their CDA accounts, so boring!!

babies first outing

2011-04-15T21:35:00.004+08:00

We brought the twins out officially today and the experience wasn't too bad but not as easy as I thought. Just half an hour before the departure time, the tiwns decided to cry together because both of them are sleepy but refuse to sleep. I had a hard time trying to calm them down and I have not even change yet. So, I placed them on my bed, change and carry the girl while I do my make up and I have check on the boy to make sure that his pacifier is in his mouth, else he will start screaming. Multi-tasking just to make sure that we get out of the house on time and in one piece.

However, murphy's law is always a challenge, the new stroller failed to work properly and ah boy refuse to sit in the car seat. Ended up, we left the stroller at home, put the girl in the car seat, I carried the boy and off we go. The journey to office was smooth, both of them sleep thru the trip and they behave well while we were at the office too. The trip back was equally peaceful and both of them seriously knock out after we reached home. They must be really tired, especially the boy. Ah girl was tired but refuse to sleep later in the evening, she had enjoyed the attention and the carrying by all the aunties that she constantly wants to be carry now...Happiness!!

Crying babies

2011-04-10T05:42:00.001+08:00

Tore between the old and new ways of handling the crying babies. Our mum n confinement lady always accused us of carrying or attending to the babies whenever they cried and said we are simply spoiling them. Where else the baby book will encourage doing so to give babies the security that we are there when they needed us.For me, striking a balance is important, when babies cry, attend to them and understand what happened and attend to their needs. The confinement lady had accused me couple of time that i carried them too much that they seek attention, i told her, i only carried them when they scream and i need to know what happened. And it always ended up that they are uncomfortable n not seeking attention only. The girl was crying so much that she look like she is in pain, then the C-lady said ah girl had wind in hee tummy due to crying thus causes the discomfort. So?? Whatever they said is correct and we as new parents must be wrong.. What the.,,,,

Struggling with negative thought

2011-04-09T05:28:00.001+08:00

I feel bad for entertaining the thought of giving up breastfeeding. This is a daily battle, every middle of night is a struggle to wake up althought my eyes still spring open in an auto mode.I need to get rid of that thought, i need to overcome the negativity....now the mind and fresh are both weak, I need to overcome!!!!

Pumping Milk

2011-04-06T06:49:00.003+08:00

Pumping milk is my routine task and to increase milk flow, pumping take place every 3 hours, even in the wee hour. Interestingly, I never need to set alarm clock to wake up for the pump, my eyes will spring open when it is time to pump. I give this credit to the nature of motherly love.By the way, breastfeeding is a very difficult and tiring task, it looks so easy but the hard work behind the feed is huge.I apologised if i ever make comments or being judgemental about breastfeeding, i truly repent.

Babies are 2 weeks old

2011-04-02T22:19:00.004+08:00

Gladly shared that babies are 2 weeks old, i am enjoying their stage now, infants have their unique charm, need to treasure the moment cos babies grow up so fast.Looking back at the past 14 days, husband support and involvement does play an important role and part to help the weak and post labour mother to settledown and feel at ease and at peace.Without Louis around during the early days when we got home would be unthinkable. It got me thinking about paternal leave and why father should have the right to be involved and help out and they do need the transition period like the mother to realise that their baby had arrived and their roles had evolved.

At the same time, my heart really go out to mothers that their spouse were not at their side when she goes thru child birth and the adjustment thereafter. I knew of a friend's friend that huaband passed on weeks before the arrival of their baby. After going thru labour myself, i knew how tough it is for her and my heart felt the pain for her. I can't imagine how tough it is for her, just know she must be strong for her baby.I will count my blessing and be very grateful for God's grace and having Louis support throughout and going thru this period with me when i needed him most.

Having a stranger in the house

2011-04-01T21:24:00.006+08:00

The stranger is the confinement lady not my twins hor. The first few days was fine but like any other stranger, they became less of a stranger after a few days and they began to intude into our life. We need her to take care of the babies and me during this period, thus we try to accomodate but there are moments where I just hope I am left alone.

They being experienced have their own mind set, we do not attempt to change them but having to justify and explained every of our decision is very mental draining. For eg, she question the costing that I paid for my post natal massage, she thinks that I have too many hampers from friends and I should recycle them, she kept asking me to wrap them up and give away. She is disagreed when she found out that my aunty is charging me Market rate for taking care of my babies (this I got to agreed with her) and kept asking me to change my plan, not once for at least 2-3 times.

When friends visited me with gift, she disapproved the stuffs that they bought and suggest that I quickly give away...i am going nuts with all this suggestion. Louis said, one ear in one ear out, I wish I could. I am facing her more than 12 hours a day.

Other than that I think she is over feeding my babies too and she refuse to listen to us. Of cos she had her strength, she encourages breastfeeding and always ask me to try, her cooking is alright thought. Anyway, 5 more days and she will be gone, another confinement lady will come and replace her. This is their arrangement because I got them too late and they are all book before or after my delivery. I think this is good too, at least we will know how to deal with the 2nd aunty when she come to minimised my misery right from the 2nd start.

Blessed pregnancy and delivery

2011-03-29T21:08:00.005+08:00

My pregnancy journey came to an end on 21st March and I successfully and safely delivered the twins via the natural way. I must said, this is amazing and I felt truly blessed. Looking back at my pregnancy, I did not have any major issues or discomfort, except for feeling tired during the early trimester, other than that, it was a smooth journey for me throughout. In fact, I was able to drive myself to work till the very last day of leave.

I have heard many twins pregnacy to be diffcult and bed rest are often required towards the end of the trimester. I was also worried that there are complications for the twins which will be costly and of cos traumatic to handle for new parents. Thus, when we heard the loud cry of the babies, it really set our heart at ease and with the assurance of the PD that babies are well, relaxes us immediately.

Well, we have not fully comprehen the roles as parents yet since we still need time to adjust and adapt. Will update soon on how parenthoods changes us. Till then, more night feeding and diaper changing to handle.

Confinement rules are the cauae of poat-natal blue.

2011-03-28T01:36:00.006+08:00

Having been thru the labour process and now in the midst of confinement, I can't help but start comparing and see which is worst?? Labour pain are greatly managed with the help of Epidural and that certainly save my life. I can't imagine what it would be like delivering the twins without the painkiller. So, having said the above, the post labour pain is the one that is unbearable. Pain and discomfort starts to developed and no amount of consumable pain killers seem to be working.

As a new mother, Breastfeeding is another challenge, waking up every 2-3 hours to feed and realised that I have insufficent milk to satisfied the hungry babies, this is freaking tiring and discouraging and yes, simply multiply the the above by 2 for twins. On top of the pain, came the rules of confinement. No aircon, no direct wind, no shower unless with the boiled herbal water, no washing of hair for the first week, the foods n red dates tea and lastly no outling for the entire month. I felt suffocated when I sleep in hot environment and I have found myself waking up feeling stress couple of time. Anyway, I really this confinement period will be over soon so that I can fully appreciate parenthoods without having to follow the rules that does not make sense to me.

Maternity leave woes

2011-03-10T13:49:00.003+08:00

I actually felt discriminated for being pregnant and taking maternity leave which is my entitlement. Am sure this is a common feeling everywhere, whether we have a male of female boss. I heard comment saying maternity leave is a career limiting move, sure, then don't say you are pro-family when been asked by a female counter-part. There was conflicting message and action around me and this does not make thing any easy for me who is going into Parenthood for the first time.

After much thinking-thru and planning, I thought taking 2 months is a not a bad ideas afterall, at least I can spend more time with my twins when they are older with my remaining two month maternity leave left. However, it was later found out that it will be tough to clear the leave and Cash out option for the leave was offered. I have not taken up the offer, I would rather keep the option open than to be duped aagin into another decision that I will feel uncomfortable with.

For now, I am trying to convince myself that life is such, everyone is selfish and they only think for themselves and I am actually not in such a bad situation. I know my focus will be on the babies when they arrived and I will have no time to be bother with the rest of the issues.

Finally the final stage

2011-03-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

I am finally at the final stage of the pregnancy, am into the 9th months and like what everyone and the gynae is saying, it could be anytime from now. The pregnacy has been smooth for me with no morning sickness, good appetite and little discomfort and I am very grateful for the blessing.

What's going to happen in the next few weeks will be the greatest changes in my life and having to handle the two little ones will definitely blown me away. I guess no one will be fully preapred for what is to come, but I will try my best to keep an OPEN mind about things.

For now, I am embracing my special moments with the twins, having them moving inside me and soon this feeling will be histoy, seriously the father will never understand what's the mother go thru...too bad for the men.

Planning ahead...way 7 years ahead

2011-02-21T12:29:00.002+08:00

My recent conversaton with Louis includes his plan for the kids primary school selection. Yes, Primary School and my twins are not even born yet. He was telling me that we can't wait till 4-5 years later to decide, we must start planning because we need to plan where to move to if we want the twins to be in the same school. Riddicular?? To him, he felt that he didn't have planning from his parents and he didn't want his kids to be in the same shoes as him. But to plan 7 years ahead is just abit too much for me. My immediate concern is getting them out safe and healthy. The rest can wait till we settled them.

So, the topic...to be continue!! I guess, he can't wait for too long, so we will talk about it after my maternity period, if i am lucky.

While I was shopping for the basic necccessity items for the babies, he was worried about them not having toys to be entertained with. Again, he said, 'I have not toys when I was young, the same things cannot happened to them'...Fine, I got it, let's start looking for some toys that are suitable for them. We did but failed, the search will continue till we find something suitable.

The beginning of Kiasu parenthoods!!

Working till the water bag break

2011-02-17T23:04:00.002+08:00

During my 33 weeks medical appointment, my gynae told me that babies are growing well and they are in head down position and they are suitable for natural birth. We were happy to hear this and the shocker came....he said I will probably be able to deliver in 2-3 weeks time. I was in total shock, so is Louis.

We have been looking forward to meeting the twins but in 2-3 weeks time is too fast. We are totally unprepared. We did periodically buy those babies stuffs and items but we just felt so NOT READY. I went shopping immediately after leaving hospital, there seem to unlimited things to buy and they are never enough.

So this weekend will be a busy one, we need to sort the babies clothes, wash them and dry them. We need to bring the babyCot back from my mum's place and all the necessities items. Thanks goodness for friends who are offering me suggestions and help and checklists for me to prepare myself.

Anyway, I am not planning to take early maternity leave, felt that is it a waste to do so...but will my water break while I am working? It will be memorable if that happened right? But I doubt my colleagues will be too excited if that really happened.

Babies progress at 30 weeks

2011-01-27T18:44:00.003+08:00

During my 30th weeks scan, I was delighted to learn the weight of the babies. Ah Girl weighs 1.6kg and Ah Boy weighs 1.4kg. They are both at the good weight range. Knowing that they are growing well is the best Birthday present that I had received this year.

The boy finally turned his face out and we could see his feature during the scan, the girl had also turned her head down which mean I am in a better position for Nature Birth if all turns out well.

I am seriously considering this option for the benefits of early recovery and ease of breastfeeding. There is also a bet going on at my office to guess which baby come first. $5 per bet, interested?

Back to School Birthday Party...

2011-01-24T19:19:00.006+08:00

I can't believed that I have my first theme birthday party at the age of 35. I know age is only a number and we can celebrate the way we like it but I have never dream of doing a theme. But thanks to my friends..I should say crazy friends and it actually happened. My 35th Birthday theme was back to school and everyone have to turn up in school uniform except me, simply because I am pregnant and don't think any school uniform is cater for a pregnant student. I was to dress as the principle and I gladly oblige.

Before the party, I do not know what to expect but the party turn out to be successful, not everyone turn up in uniform but it was successful enough and the theme turn everyone crazy and we felt going back to school.

The lovely cake that Vanessa order was even more meaningful, it was pretty and every cup cakes represent the nickname of each of us..simply heavenly.

More interestingly, we were told that there are birthday themes line up for the whole year and the next inline is Lady Gaga..stay tune for more update...

A 'serious' pose for the camera

Bubble tea craving

2011-01-15T18:33:00.004+08:00

It is a fattening craving but I constantly craved for Bubble Milk tea. It started with KOI then Gong Cha and now Drink Tea.

I used to think KOI is nice but Gong Cha is better then I tried Drink Tea and the first 2 simply cannot match up. The Drink Tea Roast Milk tea with roselle pearl is simply heavenly and the tea made me travel all way to NEX on a crowded Sunday to buy the tea. Apparently that the only outlet in Singapore right now.

Louis is against me drinking milk tea cos that's one of the factor that cause my rapid weight gain. But I am not the only one gaining weight, the twins are growining equally well, right!! More over, I will have complete stop drinking coffee or tea once I start breastfeeding, so if I don't drink to my heart content now, I will have to wait for a long time before I reconnect with the milk tea.

Am I Gungho or simply crazy??

2011-01-11T19:08:00.002+08:00

I have made plan for holiday to Guang Zhou in July 2011 and I am going to confirm the airtickets and hotel booking today. Do I sound crazy? Been dying to plan a trip out of Singapore after the confinement and before I start work and I had this worked out 6 months ahead of schedule.

Will I regret my decision later?? Will be steady enough to leave the twins with the nanny and went off for the holiday in July? Shit, what should I do??

Last week of 2nd Trimester

2011-01-04T18:25:00.003+08:00

Time passes fast and I am into the last week of 2nd trimester. What's left is the new excitment and anticipation of the last 3 months of pregnancy before I get to meet the twins. I got many questions from friends asking me if I have gotten all the necessary stuffs before the babies arrived? Frankly, what are the stuffs required?

I have many hands me down from colleauges, friends and my brother. My mum's place is almost filled with babies's stuffs passed down by my brother. There are babycot, car seat, milk warmer, clothes, milk bottles, breast pump and many more. Our babies room is also in a big mess with all the stuffs from friends and colleagues. I am happy collecting them for now and will do proper sorting and cleaning nearer to the delivery date, I hope I will have the discipline to do so ONE day!!

I should go for a celebration with Louis to celebrate the new milestone. Have been feeling hungry faster these days, must be babies growing and they demand more foods and energy right? I don't want to be the only one gaining the weight..haha

Ah girl blood flow..

2010-12-30T18:58:00.002+08:00

During my 25 weeks routine ultrasound, I was alerted that Baby girl is resisting the blood from me, the scan result was different from the detailed scan where blood flow was normal. Nevertheless, Doctor said there are no cause for worried for now since there are no sign of complication. However, I have go back for an scan to check the condition.

Went back today at 26 weeks to scan, thanksfully, the blood flow is now normal for both babies. Like what the doctor said, the resistance from baby girl could be mother natural way of wanting to flow more blood to baby boy since the boy is smaller in size than the girl. Anyway, both babies are within the good size for their weeks...

Looking back at 2010

2010-12-26T18:01:00.002+08:00

Happy boxing day, hope you have a good time opening up your pressies today, that's provided if you have managed to hold the tearing of the gift and wait till today.

Christmas ended so quickly and now we are all preaparing to welcome 2011. Times really fly too fast this year. I realised I did not set any resolutions for 2010 and I should not set anything for 2011 too. Anyway, 2010 have been a special year for me, mainly because I am pregnant, not with Sincere only but with Righteous as well. This is the best thing that happened to me this year and I am fully and totally grateful to GOD for HIS grace. Feeling their kicks and knowing that they are growing well is something that money can never buy. The loves that I received from my friends and family also warmth my heart, thank you folks!!

What will 2011 be? Not sure but it will be good and better year than before. Blessed New Year...all my dear friends..

Christmas Shopping for the little ones

2010-12-19T18:38:00.003+08:00

Was at Toys R us and we overheard some interesting conversation and negotiation that parents had with their kids.

Conversation 1:
Father: You can choose whatever you want!!
Kid: I want this.....(happily)
Father: No, I don't like it...
Kid: Huh??? (what the F*** look)

Conversation 2:
Kid: Daddy, I want this becos I don't have this at home..
Father: You don't have alot other things at home, does that mean you can buy everything here??
Kid: Can meh???
Father: ....walk away...

Conversation 3:
Mother: Darling, have you decided what you want?
Girl: Yes, this make up set...
Mother: Are you sure??
Girl: Yes...mummy
Mother: Okie, choose something else...
Girl:...what the hell...hahahaha

I asked Louis, will we become parents like them?? We asked the kids to choose their present and ended up saying NO to whatever they want. Louis said NO..because he will not even ask them, he will decide the present instead..We shall see!! Anyway, the store was a big chaos when we were there, the parents and kids are all going crazy choosing the presents, we were there for our nieces and nephew too..hope they like whatever we have choose for them.

Christmas is coming...

2010-12-18T18:00:00.002+08:00

2010 passes too fast and next week is Christmas already, I am not fully prepared for the festive yet, too many things to do and there are too little time left.

There are undone Christmas shopping and I hate to join the crowd on the weekend. What should I do?

I am still thinking if I should host Christmas dinner at my place since I only make use of the Oven once every year, will be a waste not to host dinner during this season but at the same time I am feeling lazy..someone needs to help me!!

Anyway, I better settle my Christmas shopping before the it is too late...Merry Christmas to all dearies and to my little boy and girl who are actively kicking me everyday..Mummy is looking forward to see both of you in a few months time..Love ya!!

Company D&D

2010-12-18T14:40:00.005+08:00

In celebration of our company 10th years anniversary, we had our celebration at Singapore Turf Club. The celebration was considered successful in my opinion, for once our colleagues were creative and sporting, they all dressed up for the occassion according to the theme that their team leader had planned.

Like any events, there were some hipcups at the beginning and like all situations, it will all turn out well and in the end, we did survive the celebration.

We had enough prizes for our lucky draw for all confirmed colleagues and everyone is dying for the 4 iPads that we had. Unfortunately, I am not one of the winners, I won an Nokia X5 instead. Not complaining since Big Boobs was unlucky again and again....

Our lucky draw prizes

Poor big boobs - She got umbrella..hahhaha

What a happening December 2010

2010-12-11T13:44:00.002+08:00

December 2010 is happening, other than looking forward to Christmas, the events that are happening just make live alot of completed...hahaha..

Had my annual retreat at Bintan and we did it again at Banyan Tree, the trip was lovely and heavenly, no chopy ferry trip and groomy weather. Everything was just perfect except that we did not get a free upgrade this year. Nevertheless, the room that we paid for was still extravagant enough for us to go GAGAGAGAGA!!

December is a concert month for us too...watch 'Cinder-rela' with Louis and we have two more show coming up. 'Crazy Christmas' and 'River Dance'...I am a supporter of local production but interestingly, I missed all the show for the past few years and this year, finally get down to booked it...thanks to big boobs too..without her booking for me, I might miss the show again!!

Knowing that when the twins arrived, there will be limited ME time and COUPLE time...the thought makes us treasure our time alot more. We do not waste our free weekend morning lazing in bed anymore, instead we started exploring breakfast and nice chilled out places. We need to enjoy the peace and calm before the storm hit us.

We are half way thru Dec and I know there are more to come...will fully enjoy the season and look forward to the future...not forgetting the nice Christmas gift shopping for my loved one...

An eloborated wedding!!

2010-11-28T14:13:00.003+08:00

Attended the most elaborated wedding ever, lots of personalisation and customisation done to the smallest details. The painfully allocated seat with personalised menu to every indivisual, the fresh flowers arrangement on every table, the napkin was nicely tie up with personalised ribbons with the name of the bride and groom and not forgetting the Live Jazz music throughtout the dinner and many more.

The bride is an experienced banquet manger herself and am sure she had her fair share of planning for many wedding couples and her wedding was put together of all the ideas and effort of her past experiences.

I must agreed, the wedding was well organised with lots of effort put in and the cost must be high too. Hope the couple enjoy every moment of it...cos to guest like me...the details really only create a moment of impression, and nothing more.

Detailed scan at week 21

2010-11-27T09:04:00.005+08:00

Went for the routine detailed scan, the procedure went well and it was confirmed with picture that it is one boy and one girl. The scan started well with the focus on baby 1, which is ah girl. Girl is hyperactive and refuse to stay at one positon long enough for the detailed to be capture, so it took us awhile to see everything. When come to the Boy, it is the direct opposite. Ah boy refuse to move and stayed on the same postion that his face feature detailed can't be seen. When the Doc try to move him, he covered his face with his hands...why are they so different. I went for a walk, came back for the scan and he is still in the same position. Ended up, I have to go back to KKH for the scan again on Monday. Ah boy, now the scan is double the cost...happy???

Week 20!!

2010-11-17T13:38:00.006+08:00

I am week 20 today and this is the half way mark of my pregnancy. I have completed 50% of the journey and 50% more will be the day I meet my twins. So looking forward. Before that happened, we will be seeing the twins next week during the detailed scan, hopefully two of them are growing well.

Knowing that after the twins arrived, it will be tough for myself to enjoy my me time or couple time as much as we want, so we started our Breakfast date routine again. It was great spending lazying morning at my favourite Starbucks cafes...lovin it. There is a nice place at Horse City (near to Turf City) called Picotin, we shall try it next time.

The nice pastries at Starbucks

Breakfast with myself.

Recently we tried out Burger Shack at Bt Timah area, the burger was juicy and tasty, the bread was soft and delicious, best thing is, the price is not expensive, similar to Carl Junior. That will be my favourite Burger place for now.

Burger Shack - Nice place

My Juicy burger and Fries

It is a boy and a girl

2010-11-03T11:36:00.002+08:00

The gender is out, I am having a baby boy and baby girl. Isn't that nice and sweet, my little girl will be able to to be dress in those cute little dresses. Little boy, will stick to the boring looking skirt and pants...life is unfair, what to do??

When Doc told me that it is a boy....and a girl, I was thrilled. I was mentally preapred for 2 boys and the girl is really a gift..for now. 19 years down the road will be a different story, i guess.

I can officially feel their kicks too. Not all the time but when they do kick hard, it feels like a little bruise at one part of my tummy..and it has a lingering effect (pain effect). Now, they are only 18 weeks and their kicks will only get stronger. Come on babies, kicks all you want, you will get it when I meet you next year.

Adopt A Wish Campaign

2010-10-29T14:29:00.003+08:00

Every year Boy's Bridage run this 'Adopt A Wish' campaign during Christmas period to help to fulfill the wish of the kids from the HOME. Objective of adopting a wish is to get the donor to get involved in the process participating in the community work, althought shopping for a gift is such an easy task for many of us, especially during Christmas, but not everyone is willing.

This year, our company participated in this program and we as organiser hope to share this sense of community responsibility and warmth with our colleagues. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciate the thought, we are fine but certainly hate the discouragement and negative feedback that came.

Nevertheless, there are nice and heartwarming people that make our effort all worthwhile. I have colleagues who are willing to give more than what the kids wishes to make them happeier. Frankly, this is enough to make our day!!

Eventful 2nd Trimester

2010-10-25T12:12:00.003+08:00

Knew that there are more progress to look forwards to in 2nd Trimester, but not all progress are fun to have. I experienced sudden sugar dip twice so far and they came so fast that I do not even have time to react. The sudden dip causes giddyness and slight blackout, I need immediate sugar intake to counter the sudden dip. I am prepared since the first attack but the 2nd still came uninvited. I have since stocked up chocolate, sweets, raisin and biscuit in my bag, but still..haiz....Anyway, sudden sugar dip is common during pregency as the babies growth, they demand more blood and this could happened.

I have also experienced leg cramp during my sleep, no joke, it wasn't fun to have it during the middle of the night or anytime of the day.

I also have sleeping problem, I woke up many times during the night and have difficulities falling back to sleep, so I really appreciate a good night of uninteruppted sleep..when will that be?

Good things, I am more energetic and able to last longer thru the day and able to enjoy all foods for now. I think I am also feeling the babies kicks althought I can't really be sure since the kicks felt like tummyache sometime. So far so good for now...

Milestones Celebration

2010-10-06T10:31:00.004+08:00

To celebrate the start of 2nd trimester, I bought Sincere and Righteous their first soft toys. They will be travelling with me everyday in the car. So sweet!!

I have also ran out of clothes to wear, the belly is getting more and more obvious. Went to Marina Square and I bought $300 worth of clothes, will they last me thru the whole pregnancy?

Had my gynae appointment yesterday, the twins are now closed to 8cm long and they are doing well. I will see them again in 4 weeks times and the detailed scan is 7 weeks from now. Then I will be 20 weeks already. Cool!!

By the way, gender not confirmed at this stage, the stand in gynae said he can't see, so will ask my irresponsible but experienced gynae when I see him during the next visit.

Farewell to Mrs Lee

2010-10-04T15:44:00.002+08:00

If you have not read, Mrs Lee passed away on 2nd Oct at 5.40pm. Search online and you should be able to find articles and tributes about her. She will always be remembered as a Tower of Strength by MM Lee and the rest of Singaporean.

Was sadden by the news of her passing. Yes, she had been bedridden, she is on life-support but she is still there for MM Lee. Now that she is gone, he had lost his soulmate and it will be a tough journary for the old man.

Goodbye Mrs Lee and MM Lee, please stay strong!!!

Gone the 1st Trimester and welcome the 2nd

2010-10-04T15:36:00.002+08:00

1st trimester is officially over and I am so glad. I visit the loo less frequently and I do not have the irritiating cough and blocked nose anymore. What had came was heartburnt and insomnia during some nights.

There are more exciting progress to look forwards to in this 2nd Trimester, babies ears are fully developed and they can start hearing me, I must mind my language from now on and importantly I should be able to start feeling their kongfu kicks. Do you think they will kick at each other?

I am also running out of clothes to wear, I need to buy some nice maternity clothings. Time to spend money again.

The Twins at week 12 - BOYS??

2010-09-22T21:23:00.006+08:00

Had the babies down symdrone scan done today, basically doctor said we should be happy with the result since the blood test and scan are all within normal range. Okie, we are happy. With the scan, I saw the babies moving actively, so glad and so I asked the doctor if he can see the gender of the babies....and he said...'likely boys'!!!! I gave out a very loud 'HUH' and I think I gave him a shocked and he immediately said...NOT CLEAR, you should ask your gynae during your next visit.

On the bright side, the twins are growing well, they are now average at 55mm, that's a good size for the babies.

My next appointment is 5th Oct, will be mentally prepared for the gender, if really two boys, I might try for a girl........................................................you must be crazy if you believed this..haha!!

Ultrasound pic of the twins at week 9.

Spending time with my Niece and Nephew

2010-09-21T13:22:00.002+08:00

Have not seen them for a long time and they have growth so much. My nephew is turning 2 in few months time. Rare weekend that we get to spend time together and play. This will be tough when the twins arrived, I probably will not have the energy to bring the twins out and entertain my two other little darling.

So Wenn Wenn, all your daddy fault for not allowing me to bring you out when I can well afford the time and energy...

Unconditional mother's love till it hurt???

2010-09-18T21:38:00.002+08:00

I love my grandma but I hate her rotten love that she had for my uncles. Her unconditional mother's love towards her son causes hurts and disappointment to others. Unfortunately, she knew but she can't control her love.

She is willing to compromise her own discomfort just to give convenience to someone that her love will never be recipocated, at least not in the same way that she give. I am not jealous, I knew where I stand in her heart and I know she love me dearly, I am just sadden by her actions and sometime I really wanted to walk away from her. But that will hurt her even more, isn't it?

Since young, I do not allow myself to be hurt by favoritism towards male. I have made my stand that if I am not treated equally as my brother, I will not be nice. My mum had a taste of it and she knew how much it matters to me. That's also one of the reason why I hate it when everyone is saying that I am having two boys. I will love my babies for whatever gender they are and will protect them against the possible favoritism set by the family....

Parenting style

2010-09-13T17:27:00.002+08:00

Ever since the pregnency started, I have been thinking what kind of parents will we be? We always joke about what we will be if we are parents but now I will have to start thinking and maybe do a little planning.

Louis always want to be the nice guy, what an easy role to be and he think I should be the one disciplining the kids since Mother fit that role better. Since when right? We have discussed about this but never in a serious manner, I guess this is a new roles that we are both engaging without experience, so we will learn on the job. Good or bad, we will leave it to Sincerity and Righteouness to decide.

Strollers for the Twins

2010-09-06T13:41:00.003+08:00

I know it sounds abit early to be looking at strollers, but it is frustrating to know that options are limited and prices are high. I want to be prepared and get the right strollers that will fit into our lifestyle. Althought comfort for the babies is a consideration point, I am more concerned about the size and mobility of the strollers, safety is another concern.

Why is price not an issue?? Becos my dear Brother had kindly agreed to sponsor the strollers and other stuffs that the twins might need. Suddenly I felt so pampered and blissed, is he doing this for me or for the twins?? Haha, whatever is the reason, I stand to gain.

Thank you Brother and the search continue................

Hunger attack

2010-09-05T21:29:00.002+08:00

For the past few weeks, I am constantly tired and I don't have craving or desired to eat more. Interestingly, this 2 days I started to have hunger attack, I am hungry 2 hours after eating. The hunger is not the gentle reminder but the dying type that I must EAT something NOW. I have two hungry babies that constantly need to be fed and I am going to be just BIG..Damn!!

Over the weekend, I have stocked up foods and snacks for the coming week, but I don't think they will be enough.

I have bought Sweet potato, steaming it for afternoon snack. I have bought different kind of biscuits and fruits. As I type, I think I can eat something again....

Growing babies

2010-09-04T11:33:00.003+08:00

Went for my gynae visit yesterday, was eager to know the progress of the babies. Hate the wait for Doctor but no other options are available other than wait.

Anyway, had my scan and comforting to know that both of them are growing well, from 7mm to 23mm now within 2 weeks and both are almost the same size which is such a relieved. Heard their little heart beat too...beating damn fast which is the norm.

The next appointment is 5 weeks later, I might be able to know the gender by then, will it be one boy one girl? I certainly hope so. Meanwhile, first trimester will be over in 3 weeks time, shall go for a celebration then.

Not so organised event

2010-08-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

I had atteneded 6 NDP Appreciation Dinner event for the sponsor, the one that I attended last night was THE MOST disorganised one so far. We did not received the confirmation invitation, they have ineffiecient seats for the events, and when the DPM arrival, they failed to make the annoucement and poor DPM had to walk into the hall with no claps and weird looks on everyone faces.

The amcees for the night did a terrible job in reading out the organisations name and all was bad. The only thing that worth some praise is the ending part where the committee show the flash back of NDP 2010 and the songs that they played. It was very touching and I felt like crying and I am definitely proud to be a Singaporean!!

Once again, Poor DPM, if I have the gut, I would have stand up alone and clap when he walk in but I did not...guess i will only do it if it is LKY.

Discomfort...not fun

2010-08-23T12:12:00.002+08:00

I can't wait for my first trimester to be over, according to report, the early symptons of pregnacy should be clear in 2nd trimester, hopefully.

I know my body is adjusting to the new changes, I am not only fatigue, the indigestion is hitting me hard at night. Any amount of food during dinner is too much and the discomfort will last throughtout the long night, my beauty sleep is therefore affected.

I promised that the two little rascals will have to pay back all this discomfort, the big rascal will have to suffer more for now....

It is babies...

2010-08-18T11:44:00.002+08:00

Scan done yesterday and both of them are growing and I can see their little heart beats. Yes, offificially I am having Twins. Sincerity and Righeousness are both coming at the same time. Hopefully the next few months will be a smooth journey, I can't imagine how big I will become. Breastfeeding better be effective in cutting away the fat man.

The EDD is April 2011 but with Twins, likely will be earlier.

Joke is my boss asked if I will quit my job after giving birth? Frankly, quiting never come across my mind, especially now with Twins, I need the job and money more right? Ya, mother instinct might kicks in but who is going to feed the babies? MAD. At this point, what I need to job security and yet he post me this question. Thanks lei..

Unlimited Anticpation

2010-08-16T15:38:00.002+08:00

I am sure I am not the only one that felt this way. Pregnancy is a journay of unlimited anticipating and waiting of next appointment and next result. After knowing I was pregnant, of cos I was thrilled, then came the question of twin or not twin which I will only know tomorrow, yes, waiting again.

After that will be waiting for different check up and scan and waiting for the result. In between the weeks and months will be wild thought that something might happened. This is kind of driving me nuts.....Oh NO....

I guess, the craziness dose not stop at 9 months, in fact, the climax is yet to come...when the little thing is here, the world will be upside down once and again.

Sleepy spell

2010-08-12T13:26:00.002+08:00

Considered myself blessed that I have no extreme symptons of pregancy, my bloatedness have recover and everything else is normal. Except, I feel tired easier and I can barely open my eyes by 10pm. I felt asleep watching News like what my mum did all the time..

I have asked and tiredness is normal and it happened, so I am gald that I am not alone.

I did not wieght myself before the start of my procedure and now I would not know what is the progress of my weight, hate the idea but just have to face it right?? I read online that in the early stage, I only need extra 300 Calories per day to carry me thru, so watching the diet to avoid overweight is so crucial.

Watching NDP 2010

2010-08-09T20:05:00.002+08:00

I am proud to be a Singaporean and the NDP is indeed a very big event that the nation put together every year. The amount of labour and resources involve to make the event successful can only be provided by the army.

I really dislike people who critized NDP or any negative comments made about Singapore when they did nothing. I saw comment on FB saying that NDP program suck, their uniform is ugly and etc and what have these people done to contribute to the show?? NOTHING but negative feedback..irritating.

The only thing I did not do on NDP was standing up to say pledge at 20:10, I did it sitting down..haha

Yes, I am pregnant!!

2010-08-03T15:13:00.002+08:00

Yes, after the long wait, I got my pregancy result yesterday and I am 4 weeks pregnant. Yeah, so happy. I will know if I am having twin on the 17th Aug when I go back for my scan.

I can't full comprehen my current status yet, was praying and hoping and now that I am pregnant, I don't really know what to do. If you asked if I feel pregnant?? I have never been pregnant before, so I don't know. But I feeling the bloatness and I blup alot, does that sounds like a pregnant mummy?

I have told half of my world about my status and I am so happy to share my news. My aunt is asking me to be a good girl, have I not being one so far? I promised to be careful and eat well..okie?

And about time to get back NEW YEAR ANG BAO from everyone!!!

Time flies...

2010-07-27T19:59:00.002+08:00

After resting for 2 weeks, time to go back to work. Just when I am about to get use to the lazing around and immediately, holiday ended.

Appreciated the break and looking forward to get back to work too. The next date that I am hoping to arrive faster is 2nd Aug and knowing the result..is your fingers and eyes still crossed?

Farewell to Penny's granny

2010-07-22T21:03:00.002+08:00

Unexpected farewell are always the toughest and most shocking. His granny left in a manner that I believed he would have this little regret. His granny was alone in her final hour and it was sad to learn how she was found.

Again, this is very valuable lesson learnt, spend time with our loves one. Let's not let any regret hit us if we can still do something about it.

Mr Lau, sorry for not showing up at your granny's wake.

Torture staying at home

2010-07-18T10:55:00.002+08:00

Since the extraction and transfer, I have been advice rest, not carrying out heavy stuffs and no strenuous activities (jogging is a NO NO). However, Louis does not allow me to step out of the house although the nurse said, slowing walking like shopping is fine as long as I don't carry heavy stuffs. Of cause, the bloatedness cause by the sore ovaries is also a factor that make me unwell and unable to do much.

After staying home for 4 days, lying in the bed most of the time almost drive me nuts. It just make me feel so lazy and lethargy. So, I beg Louis to bring me to United Square for a short while. We went there for dinner and bought some fruits and I woke up feeling refresh this morning. Haha

By the way, on Friday, when Doctor and nurse were checking on my condition and progress, they asked me how's my appetite? They advice, even if I don't feel like eating, I must force myself to eat, tough but I must try. Sigh, but my problem is....I don't have that issue, my appetite is good, I am eating on time and normal even when the discomfort caused by the bloatedness was at it peak. Only thing is, I can't eat too much, cause me indigestion, so the solution is eat less but more frequently, I am fine with that arrangement.

Embyro Transfer

2010-07-16T14:18:00.005+08:00

Finally, transfer completed and the process was swift. While Doctor Loh was performing the transfer, he had a deep medical discussion with another senior doctor. The scene was amusing, they hehaviour as if they are discussing work over a cup of coffee and all this while I was lying there looking at both of them. I have 11 embyro, 2 are in my womb now waiting to harvest, 9 will be freeze for later used. Another 2 might mature before freezing.

The two embyro that are transferred are grade 5 and grade 4, grade 5 is the best. So, people, time to cross all your body parts and pray that these two funny looking embyro will be Sincerity and Righteousness very soon.

Egg Extraction

2010-07-15T15:45:00.005+08:00

The egg extraction procedure take place on Wednesday morning, if I remember correctly, the whole process is about 15min. But the after OPs rest took 4 hours before I am allow to leave. I was given deep sedation and I vividly open my eyes during the ops and hear some noise, of cos I can't figure what's going on. First time in the Op theatre, it look quite like what we saw on TV, very bright, lots of equipments and lots of people.

Sedation came with some side effects, that's why I need to rest to let the effect wear off, unfortunately I got 3 out of the possible 5 side effects. I experienced faintness, tiredness and nausea. I vomit out hot milo that the nurse just gave me, can't be help, I am not very friendly with milo these days.

Did I said the nurse told me I got 31 eggs extracted and I have most for the day? I don't know what reaction that the nurse was looking for, but that piece of news does not excite me. 31 eggs? Does that make me sound like mother hen?? Yuck!! And having that many eggs is not a good thing for me, due to the quantity, my after effect bloatedness will be BAD and is still bad up to this point.

What happened next? Friday, we must be back for the transfer, apparently only need 10min, no sedation required. Thereafter, I must really rest (best in bed) and not stress the body. As the embyro will take at least 5-6 days to stick to the linning. What left after is waiting and praying, I will know if I am pregnant on 2 August.

Can't wait for tomorrow

2010-07-13T08:38:00.001+08:00

I am feeling very uncomfortable all over, can't wait for the many follicles to be remove from my body. After the night jab on my thigh, everything just got worst.

Follicles are ready

2010-07-12T18:39:00.005+08:00

The scan today shown that my follicles are ready, out of the 20 follicles, 7 of them are bigger than 16mm and 4 more might be ready by tonight. The size of the follicles explained the bloatedness and discomfort that I am experiencing. In fact, there is a condition called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) caused by too many follicles developed due to the drugs given, which I might be expose to. I was advice to monitor my body condition and the side effects. I think I am fine so far...I think la.

My night jab is schedule at 10pm, it sounds painful according to the nurse, nothing can be done but go with flow. Today also mark the end of daily jab..Yeah!!

The nurse was telling me about my admission on Wednesday, she mentioned, no make up, no jewellery and no nail polish. I almost faint, no MAKE UP?? Fine, I can wear my nerdy glasses but NO NAIL POLISH?? I just did my gel nails and that costs me $138 and she wants it remove?? I was trying to tell her, 'this is gel, not nail polish, can I keep it?' She gave me a straight look, 'Sorry, you have to get it off before wednesday'!! Ouch..can you feel the pain?

Current body condition

2010-07-11T14:54:00.003+08:00

Is my body reacting or getting ready for the procedure?? Having mild cramp, bloatedness and sore nipples.

Stage 3 and Stage 4

2010-07-09T14:46:00.003+08:00

Had my 3rd ultrasound scan to check on the development of follicles and my inner linning. Good news was my linning is good thickness and I have 20 follicles, 9 on left and 11 on right. Meaning to say, I am on my way to start stage 3 and stage 4.

I must be back to KKH on next Monday for another scan to check the size of the follicles and on Monday night, I must return for stage 3, a night jab to fertlise the eggs. On Wednesday, I will be admited for eggs extraction and Friday for embyro implanation. During these period, I will be given two weeks hospitalisation leave to rest.

Suddenly, the process is moving so fast, it is getting me excited and raising my anticipation. This is also the first time that I will be away from work for the longest period of time. I have share my plan with my mum and she is showing her support by making me bird nest, that's the way to go, mummy.

Walkaround

2010-07-05T12:28:00.002+08:00

Standing at my balcony, I always wonder what's the distance around my neighbourhood and I found it out yesterday with the help of 'iMapmyrun' application on my iPhone.

Initiately, I was lazing around, refuse to move much, then a strong desired got hold of me and I got myself ready and was out of the house in 5 mins. Started walking without any warming up and I am paying for the price now. One round of walking is about 1.4km. I did 2 rounds within 27 min which translate to 100m per min. Nice pace but can be faster to burn more fat. I am joining my colleagues for the training tomorrow and I can find out the exact walking distance. No more self-denial nor assumption on the distance anymore..Harsh fact of life!!

Precious letters

2010-07-04T14:05:00.003+08:00

My mum gave the final order to clear my room 4 years after I officially moved out. I have ton of things in my room that includes photos, soft toys, nails related stuffs, CD and my precious letters. I thrown out most of the stuffs but I kept the letters.

It has been a long while since I last received a letter from a friend, reading back the letters brought back fond memories and some mixed feeling. Going thru the letters, some are from friends that I have lost contact long time ago, some I can't even remember we exchanged letters and of cos lots of them are from friends that came a long way with me.

Today, email, facebook and blog are so convenience and available that we forget the feeling of receiving the handwritten letter in the mailbox, what will be the feeling like? Before that, do we even have an address book these day that kept our friends addresses? I need to find my address book.

life so good

2010-07-01T14:12:00.001+08:00

nice korean lunch

Stage 2!!! - Puregon injection

2010-07-01T11:14:00.004+08:00

Puregon medication produced synthetically by recombinant DNA technology and is a purer form of FSH, which is used to stimulate the development of serval follicles, thus increasing the estrogen hormone production and building up the uterus lining. Consituted in a cartridge and it is given subcutaneous for 10 to 14 days in an accurate and ready to use pen delivery system.

Basically, in the layman term, it simply mean Puregon jab is to encourage and stimulate multiple eggs production. Meaning to say, starting tomorrow, I have to do two Jab daily. Lucrin and Puregon jabs...can't wait!!!

Stage 3 is a night jab that need to be taken at the hospital and thereafter for stage 4 is where I will get 2 weeks of hospitalisation leave. If all is on schedule, the leave should happened by mid of July. I can't remember what will happen next, all this stages was communicated to me while the nurse was taking my blood, she was fast and this is all I can remember.

life so good

2010-06-27T19:22:00.001+08:00

natsumi teriyaki chicken burger from MOS burger

life so good

2010-06-27T14:34:00.002+08:00

how am i going to look for my clothes??? faintz .

I am not sure how long will Louis take to replace the bar in my wardrobe that just gave way, instead of having nicely pressed dresses to wear, I have to make do with crumple clothes for work for the next few days..angry!! And worst till, I will have a hard time trying to find the right thing to wear..

life so good

2010-06-27T14:33:00.001+08:00

my wardrobe collape

So, Pineapples really work!!

2010-06-26T13:23:00.005+08:00

Truthfully, I was feeling really affected and disappointed after the KKH appointment on Thursday, I was concern about the uncertainty of stage 2. Since I have started the process, it will be my biggest regret if I can't complete it.

I was dying for my menses to arrive as soon as possible and I had 5 slices of pineapple within 2 days. Old wife tales works, it gave me the comfort of at least feeling in control and able to do something about the situation. The wait is over, my Da Yi Ma is here..WooHoo...PBB promised to pray for me when she goes to church on Sunday, you can still pray for me...all prayer are welcome!!

As much as I wanted to contain my own expectation of the whole procedure, I can't help but feeling pressure from within. Is this the side of the unbalance hormones?

life so good

2010-06-25T20:03:00.001+08:00

My kind of salad