Grandma 3rd death anniversary

I am so upset with myself. I forgot about my grandma death anniversary till 2 days later. How can this happened? The year passes very fast with a lot on my mind but I didn't forget about grandma. But my forgetfulness upset me and I was shocked that it happened.

Grandma, I miss you and thinking of you still make me cry. I totally regret not spending more time with you when you are around. I miss talking to you and spending time just doing nothing. I didn't bring you out enough and we didn't have enough photo too.

Ah ma...我真的很想你.

How to lead a worry free life?

Life these days are stressful and many days I woke up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep because of heavy mind. I sat up whole night worrying about my entire life.

Daily, I am worried about my kids, my job and my life. Can't stop worrying from the smallest item, issue to the biggest problem that I can see.

How can I stop worrying and start living? My bad sleeping situation causes me to be tired, frustrated and bad temper and this cycle goes on and on. How do I get out of this?

That is it!!!

Revived the party that I always wanted to do again and with the rare chance, I party hard and party my way. Although I would love to have done it with my closes gals and that regret will always stay. In any case, this is my final and no more party for me in this life. Nothing and no one will make me do it again. 

One day, the drinking will have to go too but let do one thing at a time. Maybe by next year this time, I will quit alcohol??...maybe!!

Mother's Day

I have told Louis that I want to celebrate a few occasions annually after the twins was born. Mother's. Day is one of them because these occassion are important to teach the kids. He is a typical bad example that I never want my kids to be. His mum never celebrate his birthday, never celebrate occassions except for death annivsery. The point is why celebration, pray when the person is gone. Treasure the person when they are still around is the teaching that my grandma taught me.

However, Louis never bother to celebrate any of the important occassions that I highlighted, imcluding birthday and that pissed me off to the max. First year, he said he didn't know my expectation, second year, he doesn't remembered, third year, he again he forgot...and now is the fourth year, and guess what he claimed that he doesn't know when is Mother's Day. 

I really hate this, hate the idiot in me to expect the idiot to change and learn from the past year to do something. I am fucking pissed off that I mind this so much that I really want to skin him alive. Bloody hell and spoiled my mood even when facing my kids.

I should stop my expectation and he will get shit and hell for Father's Day. He shall have no cake for his birthday...he will eat his own shit.

Missing Grandma - 2nd anniversary.

This is the 2nd Nov after grandma passed away. Missing her badly and thinking of her makes me wanna cry.

Life without grandma felt lesser love around. Missed talking to her and I missed buying snacks for her. I missed the smile when she see me and missed seeing her enjoying the snacks.

Grandma, I will never forget your love, your kindness, your care, your everything. My greatest regret is not talking to you more, not spending more time with you at your last few months. Not able to grieve during your wake. I love you ah ma.

Bangkok trip 2013

Haven't have a chance to travel this year and Bangkok trip in sept was my first in 2013. Not the first time to BKK but was extremely excited and looking forwards.

The 4 days 3 nights trip was fulfilling but will be nicer if we have one more day to relax and do something to my hairs and nails. Well, there will always be another trip to BKK soon.

We stayed at Centara Watergrate hotel, very well located within the wholesales centre but quite a walk to the BTS. Anyway, no issue for me, I rather be near to the wholesalea centre than the shopping malls that sell expensive stuffs.

I set a list of items to buy and gladly achieved all my objectives. But as a shopperholic, there are always rooms for more items. I had 3 massages over the 4 days, it was my lifesaver, else my legs would have given way before even reaching Singapore.

Unfortunately, we didn't try any street foods, decided not to take up the challenge to fight the germs and bacteria. Maybe next time.

Up closed and not personal with PM Lee

I am very honored to have the opportunity to get up close with PM Lee on 12th July 2013.

My mission for the night was to request for a personal photograph with him and I did it. I was very excited and nervous but the mission was accomplished.

Mr PM Lee, I am your fan and supporter!! 加由!!
 

Major attack by mosquito at 3am

Woke up by itchy bites from mosquito. Did a count on the bites on my hand and leg, total about 11 bites. Bloody angry and Righteous got bitten too. I am so angry and unable to sleep due to the itchiness. I am wide awake up and trying to kill the mosquito.

Just wait, I am not going to let u ruin my life and attack my loved one..I am going to destory you. I will smash u and take back all the blood that you have taken from us.

Damn it..show urself and stop playing game with me. You will not live to see the next sun rise. I promise! !!

Nice to see the bright sun

After a long week of hazy Singapore, it is so nice to see the sun and have a clear nice view of the surrounding. The haze cast a negativity throughout Singapore for the past few and it reflected how much we have taken good clear air and weather for granted.

We blame everyone and everywhere for whatever situations that happened instead of thinking and how to offer help to people who are really in trouble. It is nature that people show concern and talk about the haze but what I do not understand is, whatever happened, people tend to bring in politics and blame our leadera for the situation. It is not our ministers fault that the the wind direction changes and the haze blow towards us. It is not our ministers fault that Indonesia is huge and many needs to be done before putting out the fire.

I am living in Singapore and do face the same polluted air situation, I do have a pair of young childrens that I am worried about their health and my mum and older relatives to think of. There are positive side that come out of the situation, I get sms from friends asking if I need masks. We have additional topic to talk about at work and show the human and funny side of people. We realise the joy of sharing and kindness in people when we need to source for masks. This haze shall pass and I am more concern of how to get rid of those irritating mosquitos.

Places for weekend breakfast

We enjoyed bringing the twins out for breakfast on weekend. We will look for places that are not crowded and so far we have started a list of locations that breakfast is decent, price is right and condusive for the twins.

Location 1:
Cafe at Studio M hotel along Mohd sultan road. It is near to my office and free parking for us over the weekend. The set breakfast si $12.90 each.

Location 2:
Hans cafe at CDB, very spacious with wide variety of foods option.

Location 3:
McDonalds along bt timah road, a rare outlet that is not crowded.

Location 4:
Dome at SAM. Nice arty location to spend our weekend. Price is good and food is nice.

Location 5:
Cedele at Greenridge. Healthy food with limited crowd.

More locations to be added.

Rough patches in life

I am very angry with my Louis, never feel so frustrated in my life. I hate that my emotion revolved around him sometime. I hate that I am affected by him. I hate losing the cool and I hate being so emotional. I want to move away from that and I want to be myself and Love myself. Current stage of me...I hate everything around me. I hate that I have work doubly hard, I hate that I hate my MIL, I hate that I have to make decision that revolved around twins. I hate that I have to be dependence on others. I am feeling tired and alone...I hate everything. I hate that I have to tell myself to be positive. I hate that I have to encourage others, I hate that I have to manage other people expectation.

Gadgets junkies

I had self confessed that I am a gadgets junkie, not the extreme types but I think bad enough. I have 3 digital cameras, 2 ipad, 1 galaxy tab 2, 2 iPod and a new window 8 laptop. Do I really need so many of them?? Maybe not but owning them makes me happy. I am happier when my iPad 2 is free, iPad 1 is cheap, got it at only $75, a recon set.

I got my latest canon pocket camera from Gmarket at $200 lower than the retail price here in singapore, happiness right? I will have not excuses not to capture moments with my twins with so many of my camera on hands.

Decision making time

We have been thinking about moving nearer to Jurong area now that the twins are two and should be attending school soon. We tried not to push the matter but the topic resurfaced and we really need to discuss the issue seriously.

I have been enjoying the freedom of weekdays nights and although I loved my lifestyle and freedom,  I really need to reconsider the current arrangement and try to spend more time with the kids. Moving out of our comfort zone is tough but we have to be fair to our twins.

The great things is I do have family support from my mum and aunt who are willing to make changes to their own arrangement to accommodate our changes. Our decision will cause one round of effect and we will think thru carefully before action. Key point is to put the kids welfare above all.

One of the positive point of moving to Jurong mean I will have more time to enjoy my music in the car..not too bad!!

Mission from 25 feb to 8 march!!

Yes, I was on leave to take care of the twins and we set a mission for ourselves so that we have a goal to work towards to. We aim to visit as many new cafes and new places as possible.

We started with staycation at Festive hotel, first time for all of us. We visited The Costa Settlement at Changi village, nice cafe and the beef pizza was really superb.

We went to Antoinette at Praha Road, the cafe was located new Lavender MRT, the location was very unassuming. The cafe was very classy and the twins did manage to mess up the place a little.

We also visited Penny University along East Coast Road, the cafe is totally not child friendly, very nosy and it does not help that the twins are currently into their screaming mode. And once again, we felt discriminated,  the youngsters gave us dirty look and even move away from us.

We will contiune our new cafe mission and should be visiting a few more before the twins holiday ended. We are going to Chye Seng Huat tomorrow. 

Remembering my grandma

The twins were a little under the weather and their appetites weren't very good. We reduced their milk quantity and cut out oily foods. But I do cook plain porridge for them.

This is my grandma ways of nursing me when I am unwell. She will always cook plain porridge for me and only added some soya sauce for me to go with it. This is the comfort that she gave me since young and I am offering it back to my twins. They love the plain porridge for a change and the salty soya sauce taste help to ease their plain taste bud.

I love the ways I am remembering my grandma..I love the ways that she is still in my life even though she is not here with us anymore.  Ah ma...我会永远把你放在我心里。