Never ever prepare for THE day!!

Grandma health has been deteriorating over the years, but always remain cheerful until recent months. Just last Sunday, she was hospitalised because of her bloated and discomfort tummy. Her condition went down fast and she was transfer to ICU the same day. Initiately, doctor suspect some intestine blockage and suggested surgery. But she is already so frail and old that it is too dangerous option. While the family were discussion the option, her blood pressure drop to a dangerous level and the family gather immediately at the hospital. The doctor explained her condition and my tear flow when I look at her. Doctor said might lose her anytime, be prepared!! It was very hard but grandma condition improved afted 2 days n she got transfer out of ICU. I rejoin n relaxed. I went to visit her daily before work and on Thursday morning, she looks great, we chat for a while and I left for work. Seriously think that she got better, i decided to join my friends for dinner. I went again to hospital on Friday, happily at first until the doctor talked to me. She said, her condition is bad and they have tried everything and it is not working out, she was transfer out from ICU because there is nothing more that they can do not because there is hope. She is not going to leave the hospital alive. At that moment, my heart sank to the deep bottom. I thought all is going well, what happened and why I was not told earlier??

I know she will leave us one day....but i am not ready yet...never will I. My only wish is she will not suffer further and I can be there during the final moment. I am so scare that grandma leave without saying goodbye. I want to be there.