Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Stay home mother

My nanny went oversea for a week and that gave me the opportunity to stay home with the twins. In fact, it will be the longest time that we stick to each other after my maternity leave.

Time is passing pretty fast, it is already Wednesday and we still have a few plans that are not carried out yet. We had brought the twins to Orchard. Had breakfast at Starbucks and attended two house parties. We hope to go to East coast park tomorrow morning and maybe to Suntec on Friday.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Terrible cough

My sore throat developed into a very bad cough then now a terrible cough situation. The cough is so bad that it kept me awake and feeling terrible. The throat is still irritated and don't know for whatever reason, my both eyes are red and I hope it not a sore eyes situation.

I am feeling tired but the cough is killing me and Sincere is sleeping with us thus I excuse myself and now writing this in the living room. Probably I will spend the rest of the night on the sofa since the babies just had their milk and do not need me to be near them still morning.

Dear lord, please grant me speedy recovery and please protect my family, especially the twins from this cough and may them be healthy and happy. Amen.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Missing grandma

It has been two weeks since grandma passed away. I missed my grandma and looking back I have my regret. I didn't spend as much time I wish I could with grandma ever since the twins arrived. Even if I was with her, it wasn't really quality time spent cause I am always busy taking care of the babies.

I missed those days when I was alone where I can spend as much time as I could with grandma. Even at her wake, I didn't even have time to grieve cos I was too busy.

Grandma, I miss you!!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Goodbye, ah ma!!

Grandma left us on 24 november at 7.50am. I didn't manage to reach her bed side in time to send her off. When I see her, she looks like she left peacefully.

Very sad, I love my grandma and although I know this day will come but still very painful to bid goodbye.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Grandma discharging

This could be one of Grandma longest stay in Hospital, she was admitted on 2nd October 2011 and since then her condition fluctuate like the unstable stock market. It went high but mostly down. We thought we almost going to lost her the frist few days, it was an very emotional period then she suddenly seem to get better and get out of the Intensive care unit. I felt relieved only to learnt that they moved her out not because she she getting better but because the doctors felt that there was no more hope and nothing else can be done. These were the exact words of what the Doctor told me on a Friday afternoon. My tears rolled but Grandma proved the Doctor wrong and she hang on for another 3-4 weeks that followed.

Now, the doctor again said they have tried their best and exhausted all the anti-biotic that can possibily used and she is not responding to the medication. Her fever is persistent and seriously nothing more can be done.

They have taken off all anti-biotic on her and she is left to fence for herself now. Her condition did deteriorate fast and she looks bad from day to day. Weirdly instead of rushing to Hospital to see her, I am running away. I am having the fear of seeing her in this condition. I am scared and I am in denial. The next few days will be unpredictable for everyone. I am not hopeful that Grandma will recover, I only wish that she will give me a chance to say Goodbye and be with her at the FINAL HOUR.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Starbucks at Rochester drive

Starbucks has the newest, probably also the biggest outlet at Rochester Dr. Saw the update from the Facebook and decided to visit the new outlet. The music, setting and ambience of the new outlet is simply lovely. I feel like Christmas is just next week. If only this place will remain quiet and free from students studying and occupying all the tables space, then this outlet will be perfect.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Never ever prepare for THE day!!

Grandma health has been deteriorating over the years, but always remain cheerful until recent months. Just last Sunday, she was hospitalised because of her bloated and discomfort tummy. Her condition went down fast and she was transfer to ICU the same day. Initiately, doctor suspect some intestine blockage and suggested surgery. But she is already so frail and old that it is too dangerous option. While the family were discussion the option, her blood pressure drop to a dangerous level and the family gather immediately at the hospital. The doctor explained her condition and my tear flow when I look at her. Doctor said might lose her anytime, be prepared!! It was very hard but grandma condition improved afted 2 days n she got transfer out of ICU. I rejoin n relaxed. I went to visit her daily before work and on Thursday morning, she looks great, we chat for a while and I left for work. Seriously think that she got better, i decided to join my friends for dinner. I went again to hospital on Friday, happily at first until the doctor talked to me. She said, her condition is bad and they have tried everything and it is not working out, she was transfer out from ICU because there is nothing more that they can do not because there is hope. She is not going to leave the hospital alive. At that moment, my heart sank to the deep bottom. I thought all is going well, what happened and why I was not told earlier??

I know she will leave us one day....but i am not ready yet...never will I. My only wish is she will not suffer further and I can be there during the final moment. I am so scare that grandma leave without saying goodbye. I want to be there.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sincere and Righteous when they were 3.5 months old

7 days a week

My weekly time have very much delicate in 3 groups. Fri nite to Monday morning, my full attention and focus are on the twins, all my time are spent taking care and bonding with them, and I seriously mean ALL. There are really no time for anyone else or activities.

During the weekdays when the twins stays over at the nanny's place, I will have two weekday nights to spend time with Louis on his off and morning duty day. Days When he is on afternoon duty is when I have my personal space and time.

I like this arrangement cause I can focus on my twins, my relationship with Louis and yet have time for myself which I think is important to stay sane. Not everyone agreed with the way I managed my time but who are they to comment or judge, I do not need their approval.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Visitation to A&E the third time

September is a challenging month for the twins. Only good news is they are turning the milestone of 6 months, other that is outing to the A&E one after another.

It started with Sincere fever, we went to KKH just to be sure as he fever is persistent. He recovered a day after, relieved for me. But immediately Righteous went down with fever and vomiting. She was hospitalized for 2 days, discharge and had since recovered.

Just when I thought all the storm was over, Sincere started vomiting and had slight fever on Friday night. The routine repeated, we send him to A&E, good thing is he is active and that's less worrying. So he was sent home and we have to monitor his progress. We sent Righteous to my nanny place in the middle of the night. Will go and fetch her on Sunday. I missed having them together and missed their wide smile. Pray that they will build up he immunity and be healthy again. Love you babies!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Righteous hospitalization

Parenthoods indeed brought me new experience and when comes to my own babies, anything that might cause them harm hurts my heart.

Righteous who has been a healthy baby was seem to be down with stomach flu like condition. She has persistence fever and vomited too many times for us to ignore her condition. We sent her to KKH A&E and doctor think that she needs to be admitted for further observations. At the point when doctor mentioned admission, my tears flow from my eyes and heart felt painful. My poor little girl needs to go thru different tests to determined the cause of her fever and vomiting. She generally behave pretty well, however, she definitely appear to be restless and tired. During the first few hours, Her fever starts to come down and she drank her milk. I thought she is ready to discharge anytime but at round 1.30am feed, she vomited again. Poor thing and here I am sitting next to her while she sleep at her ward, is pretty helpless as to what I can do now. Mummy just pray that lil Righteous will get well soon and we can all go home and take a good rest. Mummy loves you!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

My mummy boy

Sincere fever didn't subside and came back after the medication wore off. We decided to bring him to A&E since it has been 3 days that this fever refuse to go.

There was no Q at the hospital, doctor checked on him and concluded that it should be just normal viral infection. However, his blocked noses was really quite bad so he had to go for cleansing and suction. He had the same procedure when he was 5 weeks old and then nurses recommended that i stayed away. Today, the nurses gave me the same advice and i handed Sincere over. However, Sincere is already 5 months old and he was so upset that he cried so badly when the nurse hand him back to me. And he had been feeling needy since we came back from the hospital. Guess my little boy had growth up already!!

Fever and blocked nose

This is the 3rd time that Sincere is not well within the short frame of 5 months. Nothing serious, he had fever n pretty blocked nose.

Despite been unwell, he is still cheerful and well behaved. Just upset to see this little boy suffer a little when come to feeding n sleeping time. He is now sleeping next to me after struggling to find the rite sleeping position that he can rest n breath at the same time at 2.30am.

Somehow I have difficulty sleeping after. 2.30am these few days and now I can monitor my boy condition since I can't sleep anyway. But being awakw makes me hungry....argh!!



Friday, September 9, 2011

Testing out the new blogger app!!

Finally Blogger has it iphone application that allows me to blog n upload picture straight from my iphone. This is so cool and best of all, this is a free app.

Anyway, didn't really have too much to update, my life now does revolving alot around the twins althought I do try to lead a balanced lifestyle as much as possible.

I started my jogging routine and are available to meet up with friends during the weekdays. I guess i am not doing a bad job. Just that some overdue dinner date with some friends just did not happened and i am not the busy one.

And yes, i still managed to have my nails manicured!!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

5 months of parenthood so far

The twins was 5 months old last Sunday, looking back at the 5 months, time really passes faster compare to the time when I was pregnant.
Probably becos my weekend are all burnt taking care of them. I have also learnt to adjust my weekend to enjoy their company, I used to wanting to go out every weekend from now enjoying staying home with them.

During the initiate weeks, I desperately wanting to sleep trained them to sleep thru the night but it did not turn out the way that I wanted. They still wake up once during the night for their milk, so I might have to wait a little longer before they are able to sleep thru. We have also made the decision to let the twins stay at my nanny place on weekdays and bring them back only on Friday night. We were worried about not spending enough time with them and them not recognizing us, however, we tried for a month and the arrangement worked out fine. We can rest better and we treasure the time with the twins better. And most important of all, they recognized us and want us as much as before. Of cos the are still cons, but we just have to focus on the pros for now.

Now, the twins are sleeping while I enjoy my moment of peace, tomorrow is another brand new week. Like what every parents told me, weekend is no longer a resting period, weekend is busier and tiring compared to weekdays....this is exactly true!!! Still, I love my babies.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Baby refuse to sleep

I was angry with my baby girl when she woke up at 1am wide awake and refused to sleep. She wasn't kicking up a big fuss' rather she was having super happy mood. She wants to play with us but just not the right time and I am already freaking tired and desperately wanted to sleep. I think I really quite lost it and beat her little thighs and hands couple of times. But she give me her wide smile and that kind of made me guilty for my action. She continue to stay awake all the way to 4am while I continue to pull my hair.

Thinking back, I agreed with Louis that it wasn't her fault that she is not sleeping and I Should have more patience with her. Baby, mummy love u!!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Reduze!!

It has been 4 months after I delivered the twins and I still have 6-7kg to drop. The weight seem to be stucking on me and refuse to shake off my fat body. Ok, I have not been really exercisig too. So, I have started myself on the dieting pills - Reduze.

I have tried the 2nd boxes and yet to see result, I am getting worried. Am i beyond help? Are the fat too fixed to my body and they are not going anywhere? I don't want to be the fat aunty and hate to still look pregnant after 4 months. I need to get rid of the fat and get into shape.

Sounds like heap of execuses, I am really very sleep deprived and the thought of waking up earlier on my free morning to exercise sounds worst than a nightmare to me. I am not advice to jog, so I wanted to do brisk walking and I have not moved my ass to start walking. The least that I did was to do hola exercise at home. I am so screwed....I know!! I will stop procastinating and start moving!! Pray for me...Please!!!

Farewell to my table

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Friday, July 15, 2011

so loving

Nice photoshake application from AppStore!!

Created with PhotoShake


Thursday, July 14, 2011

A realisation

I have a sudden realisation that there are certain people that just do not deserved any of my attention. Make use of them when needed, of cause not causing harm if possible but if harm is inevitable, then just too bad. Sounds horrible? This is what happened everyday around us.

With this, I have learnt to support and love my loved one, hopefully unconditionally. I am glad that I have such true and pure love around me that I feel blessed whenever I need the assurance.

Photo wall

Due to limited space in our place and the only place to put up our photo is on the wall. We started with our picture (me and louis) and with the twins arrival, we have started a new segment just for them.

I think at the rate that I am taking and printing their pictures, we need more wall space for their pictures man!!


Monday, July 4, 2011

Holiday starts now..

I took 2 weeks leave from work, partly because of the coming trip to Guang Zhou and I thought might as well take a few more days. I am now having coffee at Starbucks Orcard in the middle of the day while waiting for Louis, he is having his hair cut. This feel pretty good, I sent the twins over to my nanny this morning and will be picking them up in the evening, I still have half a day to myself.

Going for lunch soon....seeya!!!!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Space redesign

For those who have visited my place would know how small my apartment is and it is even smaller now that we have the twins. So, we have to redesign, rearrange, rethink how to maximize the small space that we have to accommodate our changing needs. The first to go is our super huge dinning table which I love so much. I am a person that believed in big dinning table that we can have get together dinner and everyone seated on the same table when I do host dinner. But now, I will have to make do with a smaller one and no gathering at my place for the next few years. We need the dinning area for the twins play pen.

The twins had also took up two of the bed rooms, their stuffs are everywhere and we hardly space for any other things. Not to mentioned our store room, it is filled with milk powder, diapers, wet wipes, hand me down clothes and toys. We need to buy containers to keep their littles toys and I can foresee that their items will just keep increasing and we have to keep giving up our space for them unless we manage to move to a bigger place.....hmmm when and where will that be???

Saturday, July 2, 2011

First oversea trip in 2011

We booked our Guangzhou holiday in Jan 2011 and time flies, we will be departing for the trip on the coming Wednesday. I am excited for the trip, I am looking forwards to the shopping and eating and massage. Although I know this is a long waited holiday, I will still probably missed the twins quite a bit but I will survived.

Will see how we fair after this holiday and if we are doing good ( the twins, nanny and us), we should be able to plan for short trip. We want to try bringing them to Perth, that will be our target for next year!! Uncle Christian and Uncle MC, be ready for our visit, ok!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Babies jab

The twins had their first 5-in-1 jab today. As expected they had a good cried but didn't last too long, they behaved pretty well. Based on Sincere weight and height, his size is above average and he will be a tall boy when he grows up. Righteous is average little girl, she will not be very tall but just nice.

Doctor did an assessment on their growth progress too. Ah girl is went ahead of ah boy, doctor gave her an excellent status while ah boy need a second assessment in 1 month time. Nothing to be alert or concern, boy do developed slower than girl. However, doctor did said ah girl development is pretty advancement for her age...:)

Now that they are bigger, I do missed them when I don't get to see them daily. They are my little darling that melt my heart when they smile at me happily. We are going to GuangZhou for holiday in a few more days, am sure I will miss them but will learn to let go so that I can plan more holiday. Am grateful once again that I have a trusted nanny that I can leave them to when I need to getaway.

Friday, June 24, 2011

I survived my 1st month

it has been 1 month or rather 5 weeks back at work and we have kick start the arrangement of bringing the twins back daily except for the 2 days that Louis works late. Frankly, my mental engine took a while to operate at a optimum capacity. During the initiate weeks, I do have problem catching up on emails and the working pace. Probably due to lack of sleep, it seem to be tough to have a full concentration. Fortunately, it does gets better as the days progress.

The twins just crossed 3 months old. They are getting more active and fun to be with. Bringing them home daily does help to bond the relationship but they are also demanding little creatures. Feeding time has been most challenging with their changing mood. Sometime, they refuse to finish their milk and when I tried feeding them again, they will vomit out. It happened for both the boy and girl.


The girl is a late owl, she slept late, sometime 1am, sometime 2am...she does drive me nut but she compensate this with her cute smile, what can I say? I gave up. I a truly grateful for the two night of good rest and freedom weekly. Sometime I would complaint and feel the pinch for the cost but at the end of the day, I know good rest is what money can't buy and I am very blessed to have the option of having my babies stay over at my aunt's place that allows me to meet up with friends and do my stuffs.

The joy of parenthood continues and I look forward to their next progress. Sincere and Righteous, mummy loves you dearly.....muckZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ







Saturday, June 11, 2011

IPad 2

IPad 2 is totally cool and what more than cool is we got it as our award for our long service...which mean it is almost free!!! Have been busy setting up the iPad and downloading kid application. With iPad, the screen for iPhone just look so tiny.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Back at work

I survived the first week back at work. It wasn't too tough since I left the twins at my babysitter home for the entired week and only bringing them home on Friday evening.

Was pretty busy at work and quite a fair bits of catching up to do even though I am only away for 2 months. There are too many meetings for the first week and I barely have time to go thru all the emails and it is already Friday.

Weekend will be a challenging time for me, I will be home alone with the Twins on Saturday. We will be fine...I know!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

End of Maternity leave

2 months passes quick and I am at the end of my 2 months maternity leave, will be starting work next Monday. Rightly speaking, what passes fast are the weeks after confinement and when the babies are staying with my aunty (the babysitter). Last weekend was the first weekend that I have to bring them back, had great deal of anxiety and mixed feeling and it was an extremely busy weekend too. We attended two wedding dinners and it was an experienced.

My holiday is over and I have to face motherhood in its full prospective. We have made the decision to bring the twins back daily except for days when Louis is on afternoon or night shift which is 2 days per weeks. I am grateful for this arrangement, it means I would have 2 night of good rest per week.

I had a celebration dinner with Louis at Mortons to celebrate the birth of the twins and parenthoods. I shared with him my worries and my constant desired to cry whenever I think of the stress of taking care of the babies. Am glad that Louis is encourarging and giving me assurance that we will be fine. The dinner at Mortons was the most expensive dinner I had so far, service was superb, Onion bread taste wonderful and the steaks was great. Too bad, we were too full to have desert or rather we didn't want to spend that kind of money. So, we went to MacDonald and ordered the Ice-cream as our desert of the night.

Anyway, I will count my blessing and be grateful for the healthy and wonderful babies that I have and learn to embrace each other company. Me and Louis have also agreed to have our monhtly date to have nice and quiet dinner together but definitley not Mortons, too expensive.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Anxiety attack

I suspect that I am having some forn of anxiety attack when I can't sleep in straight two days. Freaking tired but just can't get to sleep. On day 1, I thought it could be the iced coffee I had earlier in the day but on day 2, I suspect it is anxiety because we brought baby boy back from my babusitter place. I think I am losing sleep because babies are coming back. The ironic thing is, I am worried that I won't have enough sleep when they are around, ended up my own stress causes me to lose my sleep even when they are not around, well done, isn't it?? The hot weather is not helping too and we preferred not to on the aircon when they are back caused we can't see them when the door is closed. But as I am writing this, I have closed the door, on the aircon and my boy is sleeping alone in his room. I desperately need some rest!!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

General Election 2011

Like what our Prime Minster said, this election determined the next generation of Minsters and future of Singapore and we are all waiting eagerly for the result. This is the first time that we saw and heard many discussion and attention about the election from all generation, especially the post 70s. This is a good sign, at least it showed that, we do care and we are concerned about our Country. It will be sad and scary if the election means nothing to us.

I have not attended a Rally and this election came at a time when I just have two new born, might try attending one 5 years later to feel the heat and passion generated. Louis attended the rallies and he brought these back for me.....


Sunday, May 1, 2011

1st Mother's Day

Our family had advance Mother's Day celebration and it also mark the first Mother's Day for me. Didn't have the drama touching emotion, rather, it was a usual family get-together. The role of a mother is new to me, I don't seem to fully understand what it meant to me at this point but I am sure it will get clearer and clearer. What I know is, mother wish is simply, we just want the babies to grow up healthy and happy.






Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Begining of night feed

Confinement aunty left and I have to handle all feeding now and the feeding cycle repeated at a rapid speed. Had my first taste of night feeding and it is really not fun managing the meal time if two babies. I have to make sure that their feeding do not clash and I must have sufficient time to make milk, feed, blup and put baby to sleep before the other wakes up. Oh, not forgetting changing their diaper if they poop. Really busy and after the settling the babies, it is time to express the breast milk. I basically have very little time to sleep n rest, Louis is avoiding feeding them, he is not confidence in handling them but don't think he can run away for too long cos I will be going crazy soon if I have to do this even after i started work.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Babies first month celebration

Yoohooo!! Sincere and Righteous celebrated their first month on 17 april, it marks the end of confinement for me and marks the beginning of new challenge for the 4 of us...me, louis and the two babies. We held the celebration at the function room of my aunty's condo, a cheap and good option, the rental of the room is only $20 for 6 hours. We invited closed friends, colleagues and closed relatives, the crowd were just nice and manageable. The twins were rather well behave, they slept thru the majority part of the celebration under the nosy environment. They should have super nice sleep after the celebration. We received lots of lovely gifts and red packets from everyone. Louis said we should keep all the money for their CDA accounts, so boring!!

Friday, April 15, 2011

babies first outing

We brought the twins out officially today and the experience wasn't too bad but not as easy as I thought. Just half an hour before the departure time, the tiwns decided to cry together because both of them are sleepy but refuse to sleep. I had a hard time trying to calm them down and I have not even change yet. So, I placed them on my bed, change and carry the girl while I do my make up and I have check on the boy to make sure that his pacifier is in his mouth, else he will start screaming. Multi-tasking just to make sure that we get out of the house on time and in one piece.

However, murphy's law is always a challenge, the new stroller failed to work properly and ah boy refuse to sit in the car seat. Ended up, we left the stroller at home, put the girl in the car seat, I carried the boy and off we go. The journey to office was smooth, both of them sleep thru the trip and they behave well while we were at the office too. The trip back was equally peaceful and both of them seriously knock out after we reached home. They must be really tired, especially the boy. Ah girl was tired but refuse to sleep later in the evening, she had enjoyed the attention and the carrying by all the aunties that she constantly wants to be carry now...Happiness!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Crying babies

Tore between the old and new ways of handling the crying babies. Our mum n confinement lady always accused us of carrying or attending to the babies whenever they cried and said we are simply spoiling them. Where else the baby book will encourage doing so to give babies the security that we are there when they needed us. For me, striking a balance is important, when babies cry, attend to them and understand what happened and attend to their needs. The confinement lady had accused me couple of time that i carried them too much that they seek attention, i told her, i only carried them when they scream and i need to know what happened. And it always ended up that they are uncomfortable n not seeking attention only. The girl was crying so much that she look like she is in pain, then the C-lady said ah girl had wind in hee tummy due to crying thus causes the discomfort. So?? Whatever they said is correct and we as new parents must be wrong.. What the.,,,,

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Struggling with negative thought

I feel bad for entertaining the thought of giving up breastfeeding. This is a daily battle, every middle of night is a struggle to wake up althought my eyes still spring open in an auto mode. I need to get rid of that thought, i need to overcome the negativity....now the mind and fresh are both weak, I need to overcome!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pumping Milk

Pumping milk is my routine task and to increase milk flow, pumping take place every 3 hours, even in the wee hour. Interestingly, I never need to set alarm clock to wake up for the pump, my eyes will spring open when it is time to pump. I give this credit to the nature of motherly love.By the way, breastfeeding is a very difficult and tiring task, it looks so easy but the hard work behind the feed is huge.I apologised if i ever make comments or being judgemental about breastfeeding, i truly repent.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Babies are 2 weeks old

Gladly shared that babies are 2 weeks old, i am enjoying their stage now, infants have their unique charm, need to treasure the moment cos babies grow up so fast.Looking back at the past 14 days, husband support and involvement does play an important role and part to help the weak and post labour mother to settledown and feel at ease and at peace.Without Louis around during the early days when we got home would be unthinkable. It got me thinking about paternal leave and why father should have the right to be involved and help out and they do need the transition period like the mother to realise that their baby had arrived and their roles had evolved.

At the same time, my heart really go out to mothers that their spouse were not at their side when she goes thru child birth and the adjustment thereafter. I knew of a friend's friend that huaband passed on weeks before the arrival of their baby. After going thru labour myself, i knew how tough it is for her and my heart felt the pain for her. I can't imagine how tough it is for her, just know she must be strong for her baby.I will count my blessing and be very grateful for God's grace and having Louis support throughout and going thru this period with me when i needed him most.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Having a stranger in the house

The stranger is the confinement lady not my twins hor. The first few days was fine but like any other stranger, they became less of a stranger after a few days and they began to intude into our life. We need her to take care of the babies and me during this period, thus we try to accomodate but there are moments where I just hope I am left alone.

They being experienced have their own mind set, we do not attempt to change them but having to justify and explained every of our decision is very mental draining. For eg, she question the costing that I paid for my post natal massage, she thinks that I have too many hampers from friends and I should recycle them, she kept asking me to wrap them up and give away. She is disagreed when she found out that my aunty is charging me Market rate for taking care of my babies (this I got to agreed with her) and kept asking me to change my plan, not once for at least 2-3 times.

When friends visited me with gift, she disapproved the stuffs that they bought and suggest that I quickly give away...i am going nuts with all this suggestion. Louis said, one ear in one ear out, I wish I could. I am facing her more than 12 hours a day.

Other than that I think she is over feeding my babies too and she refuse to listen to us. Of cos she had her strength, she encourages breastfeeding and always ask me to try, her cooking is alright thought. Anyway, 5 more days and she will be gone, another confinement lady will come and replace her. This is their arrangement because I got them too late and they are all book before or after my delivery. I think this is good too, at least we will know how to deal with the 2nd aunty when she come to minimised my misery right from the 2nd start.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Blessed pregnancy and delivery

My pregnancy journey came to an end on 21st March and I successfully and safely delivered the twins via the natural way. I must said, this is amazing and I felt truly blessed. Looking back at my pregnancy, I did not have any major issues or discomfort, except for feeling tired during the early trimester, other than that, it was a smooth journey for me throughout. In fact, I was able to drive myself to work till the very last day of leave.

I have heard many twins pregnacy to be diffcult and bed rest are often required towards the end of the trimester. I was also worried that there are complications for the twins which will be costly and of cos traumatic to handle for new parents. Thus, when we heard the loud cry of the babies, it really set our heart at ease and with the assurance of the PD that babies are well, relaxes us immediately.

Well, we have not fully comprehen the roles as parents yet since we still need time to adjust and adapt. Will update soon on how parenthoods changes us. Till then, more night feeding and diaper changing to handle.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Confinement rules are the cauae of poat-natal blue.

Having been thru the labour process and now in the midst of confinement, I can't help but start comparing and see which is worst?? Labour pain are greatly managed with the help of Epidural and that certainly save my life. I can't imagine what it would be like delivering the twins without the painkiller. So, having said the above, the post labour pain is the one that is unbearable. Pain and discomfort starts to developed and no amount of consumable pain killers seem to be working.

As a new mother, Breastfeeding is another challenge, waking up every 2-3 hours to feed and realised that I have insufficent milk to satisfied the hungry babies, this is freaking tiring and discouraging and yes, simply multiply the the above by 2 for twins. On top of the pain, came the rules of confinement. No aircon, no direct wind, no shower unless with the boiled herbal water, no washing of hair for the first week, the foods n red dates tea and lastly no outling for the entire month. I felt suffocated when I sleep in hot environment and I have found myself waking up feeling stress couple of time. Anyway, I really this confinement period will be over soon so that I can fully appreciate parenthoods without having to follow the rules that does not make sense to me.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Maternity leave woes

I actually felt discriminated for being pregnant and taking maternity leave which is my entitlement. Am sure this is a common feeling everywhere, whether we have a male of female boss. I heard comment saying maternity leave is a career limiting move, sure, then don't say you are pro-family when been asked by a female counter-part. There was conflicting message and action around me and this does not make thing any easy for me who is going into Parenthood for the first time.

After much thinking-thru and planning, I thought taking 2 months is a not a bad ideas afterall, at least I can spend more time with my twins when they are older with my remaining two month maternity leave left. However, it was later found out that it will be tough to clear the leave and Cash out option for the leave was offered. I have not taken up the offer, I would rather keep the option open than to be duped aagin into another decision that I will feel uncomfortable with.

For now, I am trying to convince myself that life is such, everyone is selfish and they only think for themselves and I am actually not in such a bad situation. I know my focus will be on the babies when they arrived and I will have no time to be bother with the rest of the issues.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Finally the final stage

I am finally at the final stage of the pregnancy, am into the 9th months and like what everyone and the gynae is saying, it could be anytime from now. The pregnacy has been smooth for me with no morning sickness, good appetite and little discomfort and I am very grateful for the blessing.

What's going to happen in the next few weeks will be the greatest changes in my life and having to handle the two little ones will definitely blown me away. I guess no one will be fully preapred for what is to come, but I will try my best to keep an OPEN mind about things.

For now, I am embracing my special moments with the twins, having them moving inside me and soon this feeling will be histoy, seriously the father will never understand what's the mother go thru...too bad for the men.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Planning ahead...way 7 years ahead

My recent conversaton with Louis includes his plan for the kids primary school selection. Yes, Primary School and my twins are not even born yet. He was telling me that we can't wait till 4-5 years later to decide, we must start planning because we need to plan where to move to if we want the twins to be in the same school. Riddicular?? To him, he felt that he didn't have planning from his parents and he didn't want his kids to be in the same shoes as him. But to plan 7 years ahead is just abit too much for me. My immediate concern is getting them out safe and healthy. The rest can wait till we settled them.

So, the topic...to be continue!! I guess, he can't wait for too long, so we will talk about it after my maternity period, if i am lucky.

While I was shopping for the basic necccessity items for the babies, he was worried about them not having toys to be entertained with. Again, he said, 'I have not toys when I was young, the same things cannot happened to them'...Fine, I got it, let's start looking for some toys that are suitable for them. We did but failed, the search will continue till we find something suitable.

The beginning of Kiasu parenthoods!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Working till the water bag break

During my 33 weeks medical appointment, my gynae told me that babies are growing well and they are in head down position and they are suitable for natural birth. We were happy to hear this and the shocker came....he said I will probably be able to deliver in 2-3 weeks time. I was in total shock, so is Louis.

We have been looking forward to meeting the twins but in 2-3 weeks time is too fast. We are totally unprepared. We did periodically buy those babies stuffs and items but we just felt so NOT READY. I went shopping immediately after leaving hospital, there seem to unlimited things to buy and they are never enough.

So this weekend will be a busy one, we need to sort the babies clothes, wash them and dry them. We need to bring the babyCot back from my mum's place and all the necessities items. Thanks goodness for friends who are offering me suggestions and help and checklists for me to prepare myself.

Anyway, I am not planning to take early maternity leave, felt that is it a waste to do so...but will my water break while I am working? It will be memorable if that happened right? But I doubt my colleagues will be too excited if that really happened.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Babies progress at 30 weeks

During my 30th weeks scan, I was delighted to learn the weight of the babies. Ah Girl weighs 1.6kg and Ah Boy weighs 1.4kg. They are both at the good weight range. Knowing that they are growing well is the best Birthday present that I had received this year.

The boy finally turned his face out and we could see his feature during the scan, the girl had also turned her head down which mean I am in a better position for Nature Birth if all turns out well.

I am seriously considering this option for the benefits of early recovery and ease of breastfeeding. There is also a bet going on at my office to guess which baby come first. $5 per bet, interested?

Monday, January 24, 2011

Back to School Birthday Party...

I can't believed that I have my first theme birthday party at the age of 35. I know age is only a number and we can celebrate the way we like it but I have never dream of doing a theme. But thanks to my friends..I should say crazy friends and it actually happened. My 35th Birthday theme was back to school and everyone have to turn up in school uniform except me, simply because I am pregnant and don't think any school uniform is cater for a pregnant student. I was to dress as the principle and I gladly oblige.

Before the party, I do not know what to expect but the party turn out to be successful, not everyone turn up in uniform but it was successful enough and the theme turn everyone crazy and we felt going back to school.

The lovely cake that Vanessa order was even more meaningful, it was pretty and every cup cakes represent the nickname of each of us..simply heavenly.

More interestingly, we were told that there are birthday themes line up for the whole year and the next inline is Lady Gaga..stay tune for more update...


A 'serious' pose for the camera

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Bubble tea craving

It is a fattening craving but I constantly craved for Bubble Milk tea. It started with KOI then Gong Cha and now Drink Tea.

I used to think KOI is nice but Gong Cha is better then I tried Drink Tea and the first 2 simply cannot match up. The Drink Tea Roast Milk tea with roselle pearl is simply heavenly and the tea made me travel all way to NEX on a crowded Sunday to buy the tea. Apparently that the only outlet in Singapore right now.

Louis is against me drinking milk tea cos that's one of the factor that cause my rapid weight gain. But I am not the only one gaining weight, the twins are growining equally well, right!! More over, I will have complete stop drinking coffee or tea once I start breastfeeding, so if I don't drink to my heart content now, I will have to wait for a long time before I reconnect with the milk tea.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Am I Gungho or simply crazy??

I have made plan for holiday to Guang Zhou in July 2011 and I am going to confirm the airtickets and hotel booking today. Do I sound crazy? Been dying to plan a trip out of Singapore after the confinement and before I start work and I had this worked out 6 months ahead of schedule.

Will I regret my decision later?? Will be steady enough to leave the twins with the nanny and went off for the holiday in July? Shit, what should I do??

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Last week of 2nd Trimester

Time passes fast and I am into the last week of 2nd trimester. What's left is the new excitment and anticipation of the last 3 months of pregnancy before I get to meet the twins. I got many questions from friends asking me if I have gotten all the necessary stuffs before the babies arrived? Frankly, what are the stuffs required?

I have many hands me down from colleauges, friends and my brother. My mum's place is almost filled with babies's stuffs passed down by my brother. There are babycot, car seat, milk warmer, clothes, milk bottles, breast pump and many more. Our babies room is also in a big mess with all the stuffs from friends and colleagues. I am happy collecting them for now and will do proper sorting and cleaning nearer to the delivery date, I hope I will have the discipline to do so ONE day!!

I should go for a celebration with Louis to celebrate the new milestone. Have been feeling hungry faster these days, must be babies growing and they demand more foods and energy right? I don't want to be the only one gaining the weight..haha