Sunday, November 30, 2014

Grandma 3rd death anniversary

I am so upset with myself. I forgot about my grandma death anniversary till 2 days later. How can this happened? The year passes very fast with a lot on my mind but I didn't forget about grandma. But my forgetfulness upset me and I was shocked that it happened.

Grandma, I miss you and thinking of you still make me cry. I totally regret not spending more time with you when you are around. I miss talking to you and spending time just doing nothing. I didn't bring you out enough and we didn't have enough photo too.

Ah ma...我真的很想你.

How to lead a worry free life?

Life these days are stressful and many days I woke up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep because of heavy mind. I sat up whole night worrying about my entire life.

Daily, I am worried about my kids, my job and my life. Can't stop worrying from the smallest item, issue to the biggest problem that I can see.

How can I stop worrying and start living? My bad sleeping situation causes me to be tired, frustrated and bad temper and this cycle goes on and on. How do I get out of this?

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

That is it!!!

Revived the party that I always wanted to do again and with the rare chance, I party hard and party my way. Although I would love to have done it with my closes gals and that regret will always stay. In any case, this is my final and no more party for me in this life. Nothing and no one will make me do it again. 

One day, the drinking will have to go too but let do one thing at a time. Maybe by next year this time, I will quit alcohol??...maybe!!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mother's Day

I have told Louis that I want to celebrate a few occasions annually after the twins was born. Mother's. Day is one of them because these occassion are important to teach the kids. He is a typical bad example that I never want my kids to be. His mum never celebrate his birthday, never celebrate occassions except for death annivsery. The point is why celebration, pray when the person is gone. Treasure the person when they are still around is the teaching that my grandma taught me.

However, Louis never bother to celebrate any of the important occassions that I highlighted, imcluding birthday and that pissed me off to the max. First year, he said he didn't know my expectation, second year, he doesn't remembered, third year, he again he forgot...and now is the fourth year, and guess what he claimed that he doesn't know when is Mother's Day. 

I really hate this, hate the idiot in me to expect the idiot to change and learn from the past year to do something. I am fucking pissed off that I mind this so much that I really want to skin him alive. Bloody hell and spoiled my mood even when facing my kids.

I should stop my expectation and he will get shit and hell for Father's Day. He shall have no cake for his birthday...he will eat his own shit.