Guilty and uncomfortable

I admit, I didn't call to ask how is the babies condition after I brought the babies over to my nanny on Monday morning. I was asked how's the babies conditions and they were shocked that I didn't bother to find out.

I love my babies and it is not that I do not care about them. I know that if they are not well, my nanny will call and if I do not hear from her, they should be fine. So, I called today and my poor babies have not fully recover, they are still having borderline fever and I felt guilty. Guilty because I can't spend time with them, guilty because I am not doing anything to make them better.

Running high fever.

It is every parents heartache to watch their own babies down with high fever and feel totally helpless when the fever do not drop when medication was given.

sincere came down with high fever on Friday. Due to his restlessness, I was very worried and I brought him to KKH. His fever wasn't under controlled and we monitored him throughout the night. He continue to be restless, cranky and needy. He only felt asleep when he used up all his energy and I woke him up couple of time to feed him medicine.

Righteous was at my nanny and i went over to my aunty place thinking that I should be able to bring Righteous home on Saturday. Idiotic thing is, righteous also came down with fever and she share the same symptom as Sincere, persistence high fever, cranky and needy. Thanks goodness that my aunty offered to take care of one of the baby for me, was very grateful. I brought Righteous and left Sincere to her care.

We are still fighting the fever and dear lord, please protect the babies and grant them speedy recovery, please remove the fever.

Mum's birthday celebration

We had a simple dinner at Jack'S place for Mum's birthday dinner. It was cosy and heartwarming, am quite sure that my mum had a good time.

I got her a cake and she was pretty shy when the restaurant play the birthday song.

I brought Righteous with me for the dinner, felt a little bad for leaving Sincere behind but I won't be able to cope with two. I will bring Sincere out for a mother and son bonding time soon.

I got shit in my nail

Motherhood is full of surprises and that includes finding shit in your nail. Was cleaning for Righteous and she struggle, I didn't realize her shit went into my nail. After cleaning for her, I kept smelling the linger poop and I thought Sincere poop. Checked on him twice before I notice my nail is soiled. Sound disgusting?? Not really if you are a mother yourself, we clean our babies poop without complained but I can't stand the smell of Louis fart. He said that's not fair, I told him, I am your wife, not your mother. I have enough shot to clean and do not have any more excess tolerant for extra 'shit'.

My mum

My dad passed away when I was barely 3 months old. All these years, my mum raised me and my brother up single handedly with the help and support from my maiden grandparents. I stayed with grandma since birth and that explained why i was super closed to my grandma. Before my grandpa passed away, I was his precious granddaughter that he bring everywhere. Anyway, I have amber love from my grandparents and I never feel losing my dad at such young age was a disadvantage or missing anything in life when I was young.

I only started to understand how tough and difficult it was for my mum much later in my life. My mum was made widow at the young age of 24, she didn't think of remarry to protect me and brother. I felt really sorry for my mum to be spending all her life almost alone. I wasn't closed to my mum when I was younger because we stayed apart, an arrangement due to work and I only get to meet her and my brother on weekend. I won't tell my mum much and I always accuse her of being bias towards my brother cause they were closer, till today. But I know I can't be more wrong, my mum love me as much as she love my brother, I truly understand the unconditional motherly love when I became a mother myself. There is no such thing as bias, I love them both as much as I can possibly give and I know my mum felt the same way towards us.

These days, I have learn to appreciate my mum more and more and would want to spend more time with her. Her birthday is coming and she sounded surprise when I dated her for dinner, she was happy that we remember her birthday. I always do but I don't always celebrate it for her, from this year on, I will want to celebrate my mum birthday with her every years. I am planning to bring Righteous out for the dinner with us, can't handle two, so will bring Sincere out the next time.

Goodbye Blackberry and hello Samsung SIII

I parted with my BB today, I have been a BB users for 3 years and BB had served me well but my desired for new phone caught the flame again with the launched of the new Samsung SIII. in fact, I was considering Note but the draw to the Note wasn't strong enough for me to act.

I was thinking of SIII the whole day and decided to join the crowd at the shop to get my new phone. The process wasn't too painful, I have backed up all my BB data few days back and I have packed the BB set ready for a trade in anytime.

So now, I am no longer a BB user but had join the crowd to explore the new SIII. I have high expectation for the phone and hope it will not disappoint me. New phone is now charging and will be ready for me to explore tomorrow. Really excited and I always love gadget.

Righteous taking her first baby step

The twins are 14 months old and they should be walking any time soon. We thought Sincere who do not crawl might walk first but look like we could be wrong. Righteous is able to stand on her own without support and she tried taking her first step, now she can walk about 4 steps and in the weeks to come, she can definitely walk on her own. Another milestone achieved by the little gal. Sincere will definitely get there soon, their progress is not a competition, all I wish is two healthy and happy babies.

This week, they are abit under the weather and they are extremely sticky to Louis, I am a little jealous but that fine. Babies, please recover soon and we can visit the parks again, love you!!