First day of staycation

To me, today was an eventful day. We checked in the hotel, brought the twins to their first swimming experience, had dinner, rested and went for a short evening walk.

We were tired but still happy. The twins weren't at their best behaviour but were doing good considering this is their first hotel stay.

Dear Lord, thank you for watching over us. Amen Lord.

The beginning of two weeks as a stay home mom.

My nanny home is undergoing upgrading by HDB for 2 weeks, so I am on two weeks leave to take care of the twins. After the 1 week holiday taken by my nanny last year, this the longest period that I will be spending with the twins.  The blessing is, Louis will be around to help out and we have planned staycation and activites to entertain the kids and allow us to stay sane.

We have packed for the staycation and are pretty excited about the holiday.  Staycation will be the pre preparation for the oversea trip.  Hopefully, we will be able to bring them overseas to Perth or Hong Kong, else going to Bintan is also not a bad ideas.

Righteous has not been able to sleep well the last two nights, crossing fingers for the rest of the weeks. Dear Lord, please watch over us and show us mercy. Amen Lord.

What a CNY for 2013

We had a terrible CNY 2013. The twins started having fever on new year eve and instead of getting better, the fever spike and they seem to be fighting a horrible viral fever.

This was confirmed during our visit to KKH on 2nd day of cny. The blood test was clear but I am worried about urinary infection for ah girl, so we went back again on 3rd day. Was totally glad and grateful that the test was negative and she is clear. So, now we have to continue to fight the viral till their immunity is stronger and win the battle. Till now, it will be lots of medicine for them to bring the temperature down to make them feel better.

I felt jealous and depressed from reading and looking at all the happy pictures about cny. Everyone are having rolling good time while we were left fighting the nasty fever. But I am and will be forever grateful for having the twins and do what I need to do to get them well. We will be celebrating the rest of the future festives with a happy heart and super rolling great time. Amen Lord.

Persistent high fever is not leaving the kids alone.

It has been day 3 and the fever remain high at 39 plus degree once the medicine wore off. Although this is not the first time that they were down with viral fever but it is always worrying each time the fever strike so high. Had their blood tested this morning, all good.   The urine test was unsuccessful, failed to capture the urine, now I am remain worried that it could be urinary infection which is common for young children.

There were many articles providing information about fever among young children and stating that fever do not cause brain damage. However, all it need is one article on a case of brain damaged incident causes by High fever to drive any parents nuts. No amount of assuranced and reasoning, logic or facts will help. Any form of risk or threat that could compromise the health of our children is too risky.

Dear Lord, please heal them and remove the viral fever. Please watch over them and give them strength. I am weak and fearful, please give me courage and wisdom on managing and taking care of them. I have no one else but you in timr of need, please forgive me..Dear Lord, please take care of them. Thank you, lord. Amen.

Nursing two unwell babies over cny.

Chinese new year eve started terrible with the twins both felt sick with high fever. The fever was persistence and they were feeling unwell. They were pretty restless during visiting on first day of cny. Now Righteous is resting next to me with fever as high as 38.5 degree and the medicine does seem to work on her. She will need to break the fever to get well. I am very worry and will bring her to kkh if the fever do not drop by tomorrow morning.

It makes me wonder about my decision in insisiting on bringing them for visitng even though they were unwell. Louis wanted to stay home and let them rest but first day of cny is such important day that I want them to value the significant of cny. Then again, they might be too young to understand and it is probably me who wanted to celebrate the festive.

Dear babies, please get well soon..mama love u and looking back, we should maybe really stay home and allow both of you to rest.

A very special friend

I would like to congratulate Vanessa on the arrival of her twins on 11 January 2013. To my dearest friend who had gone thru too many things in our life. We started our journey in secondary school but the closeness set in after we graduated. We were business partners, travel mates, we party together, drink together, we went for classes together, we shared intimate secret, we were each other wedding coordinator, we have gone thru alot together and now we are both proud parents of our twins.

Life would never be the same without her. Now, we look forward to bringing our twins up together, explore parenthoods together and the next phase of our life together.

Unable to sleep

Feeling very very very tired but I can't get to sleep. Weekend was already challenging enough and yet when I can rest on weekdays, I have problem sleeping. I didn't sleep on Monday night and now I am feeling the same frustration on Tuesday. I am very tired but I just can't get to sleep.

Lack of sleep drive me up the wall, I am problem focusing at work and feel short temper. Why is this happening? I cut down on coffee and turn to decaf coffee and the condition didn't improve.

Help!! I need help.

Did a mental counts

My twins fell sick so often that I did a mental counts. On average, they are sick at least once a month since they turn 5 months old. Now, they are 21 months, which mean I have at least 16 scary weekends and numerous visits to the hospital.

Since the beginning of 2013, they were down with high fever, got better and now down with flu n cough. In 2013, forget about my other resolutions....all I want is two healthy and happy babies.

Dear lord, please protect and watch over them. I am totally at lost when they are unwell.

New year resolution 2013

I have not make any new year resolutions for last year but felt passionate about making mine for 2013. Healthier lifestyle, less carbo intabke and increase my exercise routine. I am trying to jog two times per week and trying hard to stick to the plan. So far, not doing too well but hoping that I will persist and result will shown. I am cutting down carbo intake, especially bread. Too many delicious bakeries house these days and are not friendly to my dieting plan. Be open, I hope to be able to see things in different prospective, I want to widen my views of life. Maybe then I will be able perfect certain survival skills and roll my eyes so fast that no one else will spot me. Be more patient towards my family. I need to love them more, be their mother and wife more and be less nagging and demanding, although it is all for their own good. I need to let go and let GOD. There are many more on my list but I need to focus and only look at what is most important to me. It has been challenging every year but we make it, so will 2013.

Annual Company Christmas Party

Annually, we have our Christmas Party. This year, the organiser is our CEO and he built up the expectation of the celebration before the actual day. The shitty shit is, the party was GREAT and we all had a rolling good time. The party was held at a hotel, with mobile DJ engaged, huge budget for lucky draw prizes and a whole lots of excited colleagues plus lots of alcohol waiting for us, we started the party with laughter and ended it with overwhelming joy. At least for most of us, even though we didn't win any lucky draw prizes. Before the party, we didn't expect to dance after the dinner, we didn't expect to take up closed and person photographs with colleauges that we are not so closed at work, many didn't expect to be drunk, relaxed and let our hair down and party. But we did... Cheers like no tomorrow!!

Missing the good old days

It is the festive and raining seasons. Can't help but think and miss the good old days when weekends is all about myself, partying, shopping and relaxing. Now, weekends is indeed more tiring and demanding then working days.

There is no personal moment during weekend unless the twins cooperate and nap at the same time. Even then, I have to make use of the little free time to prepare their next meal, pack the messy house, vacuum the floor, shower , prepare all the baby bag for outing...and many more.

I misses those days when I can sleep in, meet friends for hi-ti and chat the afternoon away. I miss the party days and not to worry about hang over. I miss watching TV alone the whole afternoon and do nothing.

But I have these in exchange for everything:

Grandma death anniversary

Coming Saturday is grandma first death anniversay. Grandma had passed away for a year and I missed her. I was looking thru the old photos, searching for the old memories and trying to recall the time that I spent with her. I realised, we had too few photos taken, I neglected my grandma towards the last few months of her time with us. I was too occupied with my twins and I hardly take any picture of her. All ther last days pictures were taken at the hospital when I visited her. Ah ma, I missed you.

Insomnia after a tiring weekend

Coming to 2am. I am bloody tired and I can't get to sleep. I am going to hate myself tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off.

Had a good weekend with the the twins, enjoy spending time with them with Louis around, it take the stress off me and we get to spend time together as a family. What makes the time spent better was we get to bond with my cousin, brother and my mum when we brought the twins out on two different occasions.

Now, I really need to sleep, I am so tired especially I suffered a bad hangover on Sunday morning after i drank too much at the D&D. Hate the stupid feeling so much that I want to quit drinking. What must I do to sleep?? Count the sheeps??

Positive power and influence (PPI)

Have not attended external training course for a long long time. The one that I have on 5th and 6th November was held at SIM on Positive Power and Influence. The course focus on identifying positive energy, applied the energy to influence the people around us. It also show us the different style of influence that we could use or we have been using in our daily life. There are some that we need to learn and some that we need to put aside. There are always room for improvement.

During the course, I do find some of the points are so simple, direct and things that we already know. The problem is, we failed to applied them at the right time. Simple thing like receiving and giving feedback, mindful of body languages, watch out for our tone when we speak and use positive words. Common sense right but we don't usually do them.

Application of what we learn during the course is also subjected to the different situation, so be flexible. I need to set clear objective and know who to influence to achieve my goal in life. The rest is not important.

Oh, before I forget, one thing I disliked about attending such motivation courses is the role playing part. I am always selected to role play....always!!! Get a life and find someone else Lei.

To live I need to DIE

It has been a long struggled, things get complicated, productive compromised, emotion got affected and negative energy surround me. It is a realisation of hard truth and I have decided to stop fighting..let go and let me die. I have to die to live...I have decided to join the gang of super fake, super insincere, super inconsistence, bias, unreasonable, unscrupulous and the list goes on.It is ok to twist and turn our words, it is ok to take side and push blame to others. Sounds bad? Not really, this is the true world that we are living in. I used to believed in treating our business parters nice, fair and professionally, turned out, this might be my own wishful thinking. The slogan and believed that I have been holding on for the past ten years seem to be wrong wrong, I have been following the wrong direction. Very sad but all this shall change. Any changes will be painful, especially I have to let go of my faith..I need alochol.